c17h19no3 | [ "Which are we helping?" "The girl!" "Typical." ]

[ A huff, at that first bit. ]

Anyone could've told them that it was the work of giant "rats".

[ Cynical humor, ha ha. There'd be a reprimand here about Lupin getting his own smokes, but Jigen knows when not to fight an uphill battle. Besides, it's not bad— a smoke with his partner, topped off with a view. Somehow, it feels like a preemptive victory celebration. ]

And I'd be a lousy gunman if I were afraid of heights. Imagine a sniper whose personal limit is the third floor of a building.

Pretty snazzy rats with great taste if I do say so myself.

[Lupin finally finds a lighter, a cheap, plastic doohickey that sputters to life after two tries. The nicotine rushes through his veins, nice and smooth. Pursing his lips and tilting his head, he lets a stream of smoke puff above in a cloud. Nothing quite beats this (besides tubs of money and jewels and a tub with Fujiko).

He jostles Jigen's shoulder again, snerks] And they've got a golf cap on instead. What a disgrace~

[ Jigen swings his legs a few times, tapping the heel of his nice shoes against the beam. Being so painfully blue-collar is refreshing; maybe this is how it feels to be a normal civilian.

Not that he'd trade his current standing for this, of course.

Keeping his shoulders relaxed, he answers the nudge with an elbow, painfully accustomed to not having personal space when it comes to his partner and his antics. ]

Call me old-fashioned, but being well-dressed is a part of professionalism.

Well sure, you can't go out half dressed for a party. It'd be just embarrassing. Unless it's a job like that.

[Trails off with a grin and a nudge nudge and a goddamn wink wink. He plucks the cigarette from his mouth to exhale a new stream of smoke, already feeling the tar settle wonderfully. Lupin's expression smooths out.

Down below it looks like the supervisor has given up and he's not even blue in the face today from yelling at them so much! It's truly a miracle. And it seems like there's a commotion rendering from the RV meeting, drawing in curious workers not as subtle as certain thieves are at eavesdropping. They don't even have glass cups out, smh.]

I suppose if you jump out of a cake it's just as professional. [have they not done that yet? Huh.] He sure is letting them have it. That'll show the smug bastards. [at least until they pull the rug out from under them.]

[ A glance down below has Jigen raise a brow, turn his lips down into a slight frown: cue a sound that's a mixture of "whoa" and "huh". ]

Not too discreet, are they. Think they'll start pulling a few punches?

[ There's some bumping and shaking happening, for sure. Flagrant staring is impolite, but Jigen doesn't even pretend that this isn't a nice bit of entertainment after stuffing his face; no matter where they go, the two of them always seem to run into the same sort of sleazy, uncouth people. All the better for them to make a living, really.

A low whistle, as one suited figure goes down onto the pavement. ]

Damn, that's one heated party.

[a low chuckle slips between his lips as he shakes his head.] Nah. They came to do this during daylight hours because they thought he'd roll right over and show 'em his underside. May look decent, but suits just aren't what they used to be.

[the chuckle turns full blown peal of laughter when one more suit stumbles from the RV, glasses and ego shattered. Lupin even goes as far as to click his heels together. He offers Jigen a reassuring smile]

Don't you worry about him, man. He's gonna be just fine. You know, he kind of reminds me of someone....

Don't jinx it, he might come running.

[ This is Jigen assuming that Lupin is talking about Zenigata; the man's taken more than one tumble in public, that's for sure. He breathes a short laugh, pushes his hat down farther over his face to prevent it from flying away on an errant wind. ]

You sure you're not headed towards shacking up with him, and not Fujiko?

[ Jigen'll be the Best Man for you, Lupin, don't you fret. ]

[eyes widening in the slightest, Lupin does actually rap his knuckles against the beam they're seated upon. Just in case. He snorts and reaches over to tap a finger lightly against the brim of Jigen's hat]

I was actually thinking about some other be-hatted goat but...

[Jigen's comment spurs a hard scowl from his partner, arms crossing sharply over his chest] How dare you! You know he's not my type. He's too flat. Besides, that's as likely as you shacking up with Goemon!

[pause, recants]

With Fujiko.

[ Don't u dare Lupin

Firstly, he's never that lame, thank you very much... ~~except when he totally is, a lot of the time~~. Secondly...

...there is no secondly, he'll just take this time to look slightly miffed and elbow his partner in the side, again. YEAH HE MIGHT SHACK UP WITH GOEMON, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, HUH... ]

Hah! She'd shack up with anyone for 24 hours, if you gave her a good enough incentive.

[OI IT WAS A COMPLIMENT...kind of...

YELPS, rubs at the sore spot that doesn't really hurt that much but this burn against his lady love smarts all the same. So much so that while he's sulking, Lupin will jab one sharp elbow into Jigen's ribs]

[NO HE DOESN'T. IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S JEALOUS especially if they leave him alone with Fujiko or the lady of the week...he knows his bros gotta go be dudes and get matching fundoshi sometimes]

You're so damn rude! She's a classy lady, dammit! Girls just wanna have fun...and she always comes back to the one she truly loves in the end~ right back to his strong arms. [he gets all goofy eyed and curly mouthed when he finishes that]

[ Jigen will be harsh about ladies all day every day!!!! It's not his fault he always gets burned, okay... is it the hat?? It must be the hat.

At least Goemon has principles. Too many, actually, but shh.

The jab to his chest earns Lupin a "hey" and a little shove, causing his paper lunch bag and the remainder of his watercress sandwich to go toppling off the beam, down to the pavement. There goes Lupin's labor of love. ]

Gimme a break. [ Grabbing him to try to pull him into a headlock, now. ] The only one that's ever looking to lock arms with you is Zenigata.

[Yeah because it couldn't be the beard, not at all...its discriminatory, dammit! Borderline cruel intentions.

Sure, the principles of invading a bros mattress time, ok.

He has seconds to watch the sandwich fall to its death, a moment of silence and reflection, before he's locked. He's not going down without a fight, though! He'll wiggle and tug at Jigen's arm and pinch with those tricky fingers]

That's not true at all! What part of mystery gentleman thief of the decade don't you get? Plenty of ladies want to jump into my arms and cuddle me to their supple bosoms. Don't deny your own desire for it either, Jigen-chan~

[he knows you're just shy, man. It's cool. He knows, through this connection that they have]

[ How could you have a problem with this glorious jungle of facial hair? The world is so lacking in taste.

This comment about how Jigen is secretly pining for some snuggle time with Lupin, though. The funny thing is that at this very moment, in this precise moment in time, Jigen is, in fact, holding his partner's head against his not-so-ample bosom.

Enjoy that view, Lupin. It's not a particularly exciting one. ]

Hey, don't include me in your wishful thinking.

[ If Lupin thought that that was enough to deter Jigen from not trying to cut off his breathing, he's wrong. His arms tighten a little. ]

[how do you do anything with it, it can barely fit in a wet suit and you have to tape it down with most disguises. Despite how...dashing it is.

Don't ever say Lupin never got a feel, fedora boy. Not very comfortable but he supposes these As will do.

WHINING LIKE THE TITBABY HE IS, he snakes one of those noodle-y legs up to kick at the closest part of Jigen he can reach, hopefully it's soft and painful]

Who'd want your tough bosom?! It doesn't even go all aflutter when you're startled. Well I guess some nuns would like that...

[ The only negative feeling associated with Jigen's facial hair should be jealousy from other mortals who can only aspire to that level of debonairness. Said beard ruffles a little when he scowls, feeling the hard end of Lupin's heels digging into his outer thigh. (Is there even a part of Jigen that's soft and squishy on the outside, he's like a goddamn stick.)

A light noogie to the side of Lupin's head there, against his temple, for his trouble. ]

How the hell you manage to always think in terms of women, I'll never know.

[ That's a lie, he totally knows why— because Lupin's incorrigible— but he doesn't want to make it too easy. ]

[Right, of course. It takes tough stuff from tough men to be able to conquer such feats like Jigen. Just thinking about the effort it must take to comb that thing is painful. He yowls and kicks feebly, hands tugging and punching at Jigen's arm, tongue lolling from his mouth to add to the dramatics]

It's called a trade secret, Jigen, and having an open, sunny imagination with a side order of sunning jugs by the pool! Maybe some day you'll understand but I won't count on it. [sighs and tuts]

Edited 2015-01-22 12:26 (UTC)

[ It's objectively a bad idea to keep up this horseplay on a location where both of them could easily lose balance and break their neck, but they're a pair of daredevils; they could probably do this all day. But being able to and actually doing it are two different things, and once Lupin starts slapping his arm for mercy, Jigen finally lets go with both arms raised, palms open in the universal sign of "I've relinquished control".

The mention of Jigen never understanding the merits of women pass by like a breeze, because everyone who knows him knows that he has a soft spot a mile wide and eons deep, a dark vortex of mushy feelings that he claims is an exception to the rule instead of the rule. He's weak, Jigen Daisuke, but he's content for now with the people around him who, like him, live stupidly and resourcefully.

Besides, there's no time to be distracted by beautiful femme fatales, he has to be alert and babysit this nerd 24/7. ]

Yeah, don't count on it.

[ The master of dismissive coolguy one-liners. They're both a mess of juice and crumbs, though, so the professionalism doesn't quite reach "convincing" levels as Jigen bats at his work uniform to get a glob of mayo off his sleeve. ]

—Now use that imagination of yours to imagine me a new shirt.

[Lupin shoots him one last glare, fingers brushing off imaginary dust and the last flecks of dignity from his shoulders. Off they go, into the wind, look at them soar! And at least the supes have given up on coaxing them down or coaxing a foot up the beam and up their asses by now.

Jigen may understand a lady's heart deeper, and more than most would expect. (Not more than him, though). Sometimes he wishes his buddy could catch a break! It'd be good for the soul, soothing love soup for the soul. But on the other hand it'd be way too boring if they all parted ways because of something like that, so as wistful, and maybe futile, as the wish is, he knows. It's probably for the best.]

[a sniff] I used a lot of it on the abs I paint- er trained myself for in this muscle shirt. [and just when it looks like he's going to sulk for another half an hour, he claps a hand across Jigen's back, all smiles] Lucky for you I've always got spares. Maybe you should look into it too.

[ Jigen has to settle for guy love with Lupin, which isn't all that bad, all things considered. Lunch is winding down, and some of the others are putting away the remnants of their quick-and-easy meals to earn their day's keep, which might be their cue to also stop being huge manchildren and get to "work", aka vigorously pretend that they're totally here to do some heavy-duty lifting instead of be crafty robbers. Whoever could suspect them of the latter???

The insinuation that Jigen will ever have as many clothes and disguises as Lupin does in his closet gets him to chuckle, long-suffering but in good humor. ]

Don't suppose you've got one on you right now. One that won't out me as not being a construction worker.

[ or a dress, don't hand him a dress because he hasn't shaved those hairy legs ]

[At least he receives lovingly prepared lunches of grass and mayo a cow wouldn't even eat if given the choice!! You just can't beat that with tits. A finger lifts in the air, eureka!, and with elbows flying with the movement of his arms, Lupin delves into the lunchbox at his side, back turned to Jigen so he can rummage with the aid of proper lighting. Not a minute too soon he retrieves a white shirt, flaps it to get the wrinkles out,and holds it out, triumph on his face]

Here, I think this one'll keep your cover and your tough vibes safe.

[damn, of all the days he did pack a dress. Oh well. The back of the shirt has 'Bad Boy' scrawled across the back in pink letters.]

Edited 2015-01-23 04:43 (UTC)

[ You stingy bastard... the next time Jigen packs lunch, all Lupin's gonna get is a whole lot of bread and a pathetic slice of tomato.

That shirt, though. From the front? It looks perfectly harmless— just another white T-shirt— so Jigen takes it from his pal with a sort of semi-surprised expression on his face, a silent "huh, I gave you this opening and you didn't take it". How surprising that his partner has something in his box of disguises that isn't at least somewhat extra.

His mayo and juice-ridden shirt is tugged off and tossed to the side (farewell...), replaced by Mr. 'Bad Boy' here. How he missed the blaring pink warning sign on the back will be the mystery of the day...

Good thing Jigen and Lupin are basically the same height, it fits him like an embarrassing glove. ]

Hey, thanks. [ How dare you do this, Lupin... a few people glance their way and snicker under their sandwiches. ] Feels weird, wearing a shirt without a jacket.

[LUPIN CARES ABOUT HIS DIGESTION why must you overlook this. At least include a cookie for dessert...

The giggle Lupin unsuccessfully smothers with his knuckles? Is definitely because it's workin' time and Jigen feels off without a jacket, as is that professional clause. It's definitely not because of the embarrassing shirt he still hasn't noticed. Oh man, Lupin can't wait to tell Goemon about this and try to make him care about it only to get a 'childish endeavors when you should have been doing your job' instead.

Closes the lunchbox, flips the glasses back onto his nose, and climbs to his feet cautiously and slowly. Lupin pats his knees of imaginary dust and nods.]

No problem, man. It's mind over matter-- just pretend you've got one on. We'll be out of here in no time. Just try not to gamble away your shoes with the guys later.

[snerk snerk

but honestly, for a man of many faces and outfits and asses, Lupin knows what he means in the basic sense. Nothing feels quite as right and wholesome as the sensation of his suit settling over his bones. It's like armor, in a way.]

[ It'll be a shitty oatmeal cookie with gross raisins, that'll teach him a lesson about prematurely caring about Jigen's non-failing digestion!!

Jigen follows suit with the standing, dropping his stub of a cig onto the beam and crushing it under the heel of his nice shoe. This would be so much cooler if he wasn't wearing this travesty of a shirt, but he can't win them all... ]

Yeah, yeah. Worry about yourself and not getting hosed down for saying or doing something stupid.

[ These tough-ass construction workers might give them both a run for their money, quite literally... He glances around and wonders why some of them look so amused, though. Must be all these haters being jealous of his beard. ]

[The early bird gets the worm! Or in this case the early turd...?

Watching the descent of Jigen's cigarette makes him ponder the fate of his own. At least he didn't swallow it. Small miracles you've got to get behind in a life like theirs. The fact others have caught on to his little joke only makes Lupins grin all the goofier.]

Hosed down? Little ol' me? Wouldn't dream of it! I'm a little more worried about having to win your shoes back for you after hours, partner. They could take advantage of a good natured fellow like you. [trails off in a fit of snickers]

[ The early worm gets the turd...? This is getting too deep.

Here's a raise of his brow under the brim of his hat, squint and maybe you can see it. ]

Hey. What's up with the sudden buttering up? What the hell did you do this time.

[ After the watercress disaster, he doesn't trust you, Lupin... or, well, he shouldn't have trusted Lupin approximately 55 seconds ago when he agreed to wear that shirt, the poor fool. The laughing makes this even more suspicious, so Jigen combs a hand through his facial hair to make sure that nothing's made a nest out of it.

No birds, phew. ]

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42 comments in and heres a poo joke

i can't believe it took us this long