c17h19no3 | [ "Which are we helping?" "The girl!" "Typical." ]

[let it blow the mind, you don't even need acid for this shitty trip.

Raises his own eyebrows in response (he'd recognize those skeptical eyes anywhere under that hat), the very picture of innocence. There's your second warning sign, Jigen.]

Buttering you up? What are you, a croissant? Too hairy for that. I can't believe you'd think a friend winning back another friend's shoes is something to be suspect about. I expected better from you. [tuts and shakes his head, even wags a finger under Jigen's nose]

[ Lupin feigning ignorance is a surefire sign that he's hiding something, and that hand poised near his face moves to rummage at his pants pockets; nothing amiss. So far. ]

Alright, now I know that something's up. Spit it out, what kind of ridiculous mess are you gonna try to get me in this time?

[ Is Jigen going to be Cinderella of this construction castle, destined to leave a shoe for Prince Corrupt Charming?? He's on to you. ]

Nothing! Damn, your suspicion gland is on overdrive today. You really need to do something about that, you're gonna pull a muscle.

[shaking his head again, looking genuinely puzzled, he retrieves a power drill from nearby and gives it a go, playfully brandishes it before his partner. He's just too easy sometimes.

The fun now is what gets him through the knowledge that he's doomed the instant Jigen finds out.]

Some of us have gotta get back to faking working like real professionals. If you wanna play around, be my guest, Jigen-chan.

Edited 2015-01-23 07:35 (UTC)

I'll have you know that that's how I've stayed alive until now.

[ Referring to his hyperactive suspicion gland, of course. But that's all he's gonna say about that, because it gets tired and old to go through the motions of pretending to care about the fact that they're always under constant danger anyway.

Instead, he thinks about what he's gonna do to Lupin once he does find out about what these wily wily schemes are, as he picks up a nailgun and makes sure it's not loaded. ]

Remember what I said about haunting you from the grave, Lupin.

Every throb of that glad is another gray hair that's gonna pop up on your beard, I'll have you know. You can never be too careful but you can learn to rely on your muscle memory too.

[Gray. Hair. Lounge King. When he catches sight of the nail gun Lupin gulps, Adams apple bobbing with Feeling. Here's where he's distinctly thankful for being light on his feet; those feet take him to the other end of the beam for some good ol' manly drilling]

What was that? I can't hear you, you're gonna have to speak up! You're breaking up, man!

[Now, while he knows if he can't hear the danger its even worse but his gut is rebelling against his brain. Probably because of the turkey.]

Edited 2015-01-23 08:08 (UTC)

[ Who thought it would be a good idea to give a sharpshooter a nail gun??? Clearly the supervisor of this construction gig, who lives in blissful ignorance of what these nerds do on a daily basis. Will his 0.3 second quickdraw reputation apply to power tools? Will Lupin sleep tonight with a butt cast on? Stick around and find out.

The look Jigen gives Lupin can only be described as "dubious". Dubious, with a side of "I'm on to you". It's an expression he's mastered through the years, one that he keeps trained on his partner as he reaches for the box of nails to slowly, purposefully load the tool in his hands. ]

I said, I warned you!

[ A warning that's clearly fallen on deaf ears... If Lupin looks around, he might notice that one of the workers, grin in tow, is approaching Jigen; no doubt to wind him up a little. ]

[Lupin sure is close to the ledge and trying to ignore the heat of anger and danger on his back, likening it to the sun's rays instead!! That's what it is, the sun being friendly and overbearing and not at all his gunman partner wanting to destroy him!! He will probably end up sleeping with a butt cast on tonight and have to endure Goemon's bedside manner which leaves so much to be desired.

The smile Lupin gives him in return can only be described as "innocent" and also "oh shit".]

What was that, am I warm? No, I'm perfectly fine but I feel something burning holes into my back, you might wanna look into it!

[he's too worried about his own ass to be worried about some bystander who isn't intimidated by Jigen's charm or beard.]

[ There would be a retort here, about how that hole could become a literal hole and not a metaphorical one, but he's cut off by one worker patting him on the shoulder and greeting him with a jovial "cool it, Mr. Bad Boy".

And then another slap on the back, with another "must be tough, being such a Bad Boy".

And then a third "from the wife? You two must be having one hell of a good time after hours".

Jigen looks stunned for approximately ten seconds, looking back and forth between the laughing men and his partner (still drilling), before he puts two and two together. The shirt— ]

—Get your ass over here!

[ He would have yelled "Lupin!!!", but he's smart enough not to blow their cover... yet... ]

[He shoots half alarmed, half accusing and mostly shitty looks at these assholes who just signed his damn death warrant before he all but throws the power drill in Jigen's path, never once turning his back on his partner.

Sweat beads at his hairline and he gulps, smile crooked in an anxious kind of grin that's all hysterics and no humor.]

NAH, SORRY, I THINK THE BIG BOSS CALLED ME DOWN! WHAT'S THAT? GRANNY FELL IN THE SHOWER AND BROKE THE PICKLE JAR AT THE SAME TIME!? I'M ON MY WAY!

[he actually grabs hold of the beams with all the intention of climbing down all by himself because of this fire lit under his ass]

Thanks a lot, you assholes! [he snarls at the still laughing dumbasses

wait does this make him the wife]

[ Remember that time he was really insistent on killing you, Lupin... this is it, phase 2, except the murder is less permanent and leaning more towards "you're not gonna be able to use that thing in your pants for at least a week".

The poor men caught in the crossfire between these two morons point at themselves in a sort of "what, what did we do?" way, and then shrug and get back to work. Weirdos.

Jigen, though— the power drill kicked aside (way dangerous, dude, thank god some person sees that thing coming down and dodges just in time before it embeds itself in the pavement), he makes his way across the beam like a bearded Godzilla in really nice shoes. ]

What are you, Lassie?! I said, get over here!

[ jigen is absolutely the shitty wife but lupin can have the honor of this role for now ]

[he's distinctly feeling some serious deja vu all up in here, yeah! It feels like that or the last time Lupin used up all the tp and didn't tell Jigen before he went in there and sat down...during a stake out...

WHY ARE THESE ASSHOLES SO NONCHALANT ABOUT A MURDER THEY'RE GOING TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR? People lack so much empathy these days its disgusting. These are the kind of things Lupin laments upon while hurrying down the beam onto the next one, very much feeling the flames of danger on his tail

he can't worry about innocent bystanders yet, he knows in his heart of hearts they learned how to dodge from day one]

WHAT'D YOU SAY? Grandma's stuck in the well? I'm coming, hold your horses! Just don't let her drink all the water, she took a water pill.

[oh good and neither of them even needed dresses]

[ Discretion dictates that he can't just whip out his trusty magnum and fire a warning shot right next to Lupin's head, but he looks down from the beam that his partner's just hopped down from and waves that nail gun in his hand. Threateningly. This is no white flag, mark his words.

The heartless firestarters pick their noses and wonder what'll be on TV tonight as two people murder each other yards away. ]

Lu— [ No, he can't... did they pick names for each other? what were they, again? He can never keep all these damn covers straight. ]

—I know where you hide your stash, you bastard!

[ Of naughty pictures of Fujiko, those are all going right into the fireplace, mister...!! ]

[Lupin makes the mistake of looking up to see if Jigen's gotten motivated to climb down after him, which just serves for another spike of fear racing through him, his hair even stands on end.

HOW CAN THEY JUST STAND THERE?! LUPIN IS GOING TO CALL THE UNION WHEN THIS IS OVER if he lives, anyway]

[Lupin most likely picked out names like Raul and Lee. who is who? who really knows who anyone is anymore]

Do you really think a master th- uh, master would show you the whole pie? Besides, it's real low of you to hit the stash, man! I thought I knew you.

[he'd better forget where its located if he wants to keep his hat]

[ Lupin is lucky that they're teetering on steel beams right now, otherwise Jigen would be running, not easing his way over. Ease he does, slinking around like a black panther in a Bad Boy shirt to drop down one floor below.

Everyone else just chooses to ignore them because they just want to get paid and go home, how wise of them. ]

Maybe it'd help you get your damn head out of your pants, once in a while!

[ And let's be real, Jigen probably has only seen a fraction of the collection he's threatening to burn, but it's a start. Crabwalking across precarious footing, Jigen points an accusatory finger at his partner in crime, eyes slightly narrowed under the brim of his hat. ]

Now take your shirt off!

[ this is escalating quickly ]

[he doesn't exactly feel too lucky, what, with being practically at deaths door. He is about as literally as between a rock and a hard place as he has been in his life! Or at least this week. Lupin hauls one leg between the beam he's currently scooting across clear down to the next one, stretched out awkwardly and vulnerably, to boot. He doesn't have to strain much with being so flexible but it's still hurried and precise! He's even got his tongue between his teeth for concentration, sweating down to the wire]

Little- I mean big, big Raul is the proud ruler of my pants and I won't let him abdicate for anyone! [of course he means Big Lupin but yknow]

[at the demand to disrobe, not to mention the sight of the almighty crabwalk of doom, Lupin lets out a shriek, lets his free foot twist and shake]

Kyyyyyaaaa~ Lee, not in public! What will the guys think...? Oh no, I'm blushing...

[well now he can enjoy this]

[ Well, at least this gives him a rundown of their aliases again. By the time Jigen tries to mosey on over to grab Lupin by the scruff of his neck, the slippery bastard is already on his way to the next beam down; he's always known his partner's tendency to be quick on his feet, but Lupin— sorry, Raul— is really going for gold today.

His hand swipes at air, and the motion is accompanied by a quick click of the tongue, lips parting to respond to the first half of Lupin's ridiculousness...

...and then the latter half hits, hard and heavy, and Jigen realizes that he walked right into that one. Cue an affronted: ]

Cut it out, idiot! You know what I mean!

[ he just wants to trade shirts okay GOD LUPIN... ]

You don't have the right to be all shy and coy now, you big lug. The cat's already out of the bag, you're a real wild cat! It's true, guys.

[cue a snicker and a rush of confidence Lupin really shouldn't feel but because he's a little shit...Somehow he's got the upper hand. For now. He uses this opportunity to lock his knees around the beam in order to slide down just as cheerily as this embarrassing moment in history.

The workers around them are a little surprised at Lee's taste, to be honest, and murmur as such.]

I know exactly what you mean.

I'd shut that big mouth of yours before it's too late!

[ He really has to take a moment here to contemplate the pros and cons of blowing their cover right here, right now, for the sake of his dignity, but his professionalism wins out. It would be a real waste for them to have gone through all this, just to be caught because of an argument over a shirt.

Not that Jigen isn't going to stop trying to snap Lupin's neck, but. Yeah.

Amidst murmurs of "he doesn't really look like such a kinky dude", Jigen almost does that cliche wave-his-fist-at-an-escaping-thief gesture, but stops halfway to start pulling one of those big lifts over towards himself. They're faster and easier to navigate than hopping on and off beams, at the very least. ]

We're trading shirts!

[ does this mean jigen wants lupin to be the bad boy??? everything is ruined ]

First you wanna trade shirts and what's next, you wanna trade partners? You swinger you! It might not be so bad...[he actually pauses, a thoughtful crease to his brow everyone who's anyone knows is trouble]

I know you want my shirt so you can see how you look in it, big boy~

[Spotting Jigen's upgrade has him all but bolting with a low "shit" under his breath, feels the clock run overtime to escape and get down, down, down. If he can't get to any equipment yet...but he's got cables for climbing and securing himself up there, that comes to mind! He uses it as a lasso to hook it onto the next beam and get ready to jump over.

It's also a place where this kinky vs not kinky discussion is occurring, surely Jigen can't get him there in a crowd]

[ Why is this happening... The lift is moving painfully slow, too slow for Jigen's liking, but he waits for it because he knows the payoff will be ease of transportation. An aggravated hand goes up to tilt his hat over his head, deeper over his eyes, embarrassment written in his posture even if he tries hard, very hard, not to show it. ]

Hah! Stop running then, Raul— I know you want to be the "Bad Boy".

[ He has to quip to save face, even at his own expense: a coolguy never buckles under such humiliation!! Even if it's too late, really, and even if he doesn't even want to joke about this. The lift finally comes, and Jigen hops onto it as Lupin makes his way over to the group of guys murmuring about who they want to root for in this situation. ]

I think Bad Boy suits you better-- all naughty-like. Me, I think I've got too pure of a consistency for that.

[more like Pure Piece of Shit. Despite Jigen hot (and cold and yes and no) on his heels, he's cackling and snickering and has time to pat their fellow coworkers on the back with a "what do you think, am I bad?" here and a "I'll bet you his shirt later, man" there. (who would want such an embarrassing shirt is a mystery...maybe for nostalgia, who knows)

Despite that, he's still ever on the move, feet scurrying to the end of the beam so he can move on to the next one, lasso high above his head to take him to the next beam full of gawking guys. What is there to save once all this is over? Hope? Currency? Friendship? A stash?]

[ They're a little circus act now, clowns scampering around and performing too-daring acrobatics. Jigen hops off the lift, looks around and sets his sights on another one that'll take him closer to Lupin's destination. ]

The only one who buys your "pure" act is you!

[ And apparently everyone else at this construction site?? These traitors. A few of them look at Jigen dubiously as he passes by, wondering what kind of nasty things these two are getting up to on their spare time... "pure act"? What, do they roleplay in bed? Why are they talking about this right now? So many questions, so few answers to be given.

Jigen sidesteps over a guy who's just trying to put these screws into these beams, almost trips over another guy with a hammer. ]

Aren't you gonna stop and get to work?!

[Jigen's got that right-- no one believes the pure act. Well, maybe some of the guys stumbling around them right now, but they're not the greatest judges of character. They think ladies like cat calling for Christ's sake. Still, even with this danger, he's filled with way too much laughter at Jigen's irritation and scrambling.

He lands on the next beam with a little wobbly footing just as his partner snaps at their onlookers]

I'm purely a master, man! Purely in charge of my fashion, unlike some people. I do think some more work will do you good, give you some reflection, man.

[ Alright, that's it...!!! Once he gets some more solid footing on his next lift, he reaches for his nail gun and actually manages to fire a warning shot a few inches from Lupin's shoulder. (Said nail embeds itself on a wooden scaffolding, let's hope that he hasn't ruined this entire building because of this risky move? This duo is so good at breaking things, holy shit.) Thank god Jigen's so precise with his shooting, do nail guns even work the same way as magnums do?

Whatever, give Jigen something that shoots things and he can handle it, that's not an innuendo. ]

Damn, my hand slipped.

[ He says, as flatly as a board. This utter bullshit, brought to you by Jigen Daisuke. ]

[How could Jigen have aimed that any way but on purpose, way too goddamn close-- Lupin's knees still bow and shake the slightest bit despite the wiring in his brain telling him all this. He surges back up, rage and self preservation sparking up his spine]

What the hell was that for!? Are you trying to kill me? Don't forget who pays the electric bill! [indignation babbles from his mouth as sure as any brook, Lupin waves a fist at Jigen and is already grabbing for a pipe or someone's toolbelt to toss right back.]

[The bystanders are puzzled: why was he getting shitty over an accident? They saw nothing. Nothing to see here folks, move along.]

well i was trying to pretend to be professional but...

i was also trying to be professional... it's ok now, the floodgates have opened

maybe this just means we're ready for these brats, now

u say that but i have no idea what i'm doing

BUT YOUR ACTING IS SUPERB we will get there, somehow (i dont know either)

HUSH...YOU'RE ALWAYS GR8... furiously downloads more things to watch

no you are absolutely in a sense of awe and pumping me up. yes yes keep downloading

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject