[Lupin is hardly doing what you'd call work...or even looking as if he's doing some work. He's accosted some measuring tape from somewhere and seems to be taking measurements...but for what? Only he knows. And at what cost? Only the city will know in a matter of hours. But he's happily doing so without complaining, a jaunty tune on his lips, so maybe the union won't need to be called in.
Jigen's comment dashes the pleased look on his face by degrees, he snaps a long end of the tape open loudly, nose in the air]
No! That makes me the main dawg eat dog with the voice. Besides, you know I'm more of a guitar guy myself.
[ Whatever this reference may be, it's another statement that flies over Jigen's head; it doesn't stop him from keeping the mild amusement locked on his scruffy face, though, as he lingers around and pretends to mark off spots on nearby beams while scoping out good vantage points for future reference. A gunman appreciates more than just the view.
He'll have to scuff out all of these chalk marks he's making later, just in case some poor architect does decide to punch in some screws on these carelessly-made Xs. ]
Yeah, yeah. You're the whole goddamn band, dog or no.
[ Strings, brass, woodwind. Lupin's a one-man everything, and Jigen says as much with a little wave of his hand. ]
They're not a damn band, they're a gang like us-- [throws his hands up and scoffs, disgusted] Oh nevermind! We all know your visionary strengths are different from mine. And you and those westerns...
[one of these days they're all going to get completely trashed and watch shitty disney movies. Like real, mature adults. But it doesn't really matter for now.
Now it's all about taking in the lay of the land. Measurements seemingly done, Lupin makes it look as if he's merely surveying what they have left to do, neck craned so he can look up, up, up--
Those blinds in the building adjacent to them seem to be drawn open now. Interesting]
[ Jigen's all about the black-and-whites, the spaghetti westerns and the occasional Casablancas, the Maltese Falcons. Lupin should really educate him on the good ol' animations, though... Jigen crying at the Fox and the Hound, a sight for the ages.
He looks mildly affronted by this slam at his taste, a brow arching under the brim of his borsalino, hand stopping midair, mid-X. But before he can comment, he follows Lupin's gaze skyward, stopping at the window in question. ]
[Hey, there's no shame in crying over one of the classics! It's a very compelling piece of art and huma- furry- of emotion and connection. Lupin would be worried if he didn't shed a tear or sweat or something or other.
He squints, raises his hand to shield his gaze from the glare of the sun]
Either that or they're taking five for lunch. Fujicakes should be working her magic right about now.
[He's given her a bit of free reign on her tactics, as she does know what the plan is, and that's not going to be a problem or anything, nope.
Down below, the RV shakes a few more times before seemingly spitting out three more suits, glasses broken, noses bloody, the works. The old man in charge of the project stomps out, fists in the air and spitting mad.]
[ After this, they're going to bond over Lady and the Tramp and drunkenly sing Hellfire while they pass out on the couch. Manly bonding time, just over the horizon.
The shakedown that's happening below earns a low whistle, appreciation for the old man who still has quite a bit of fight in him, if the scene below is anything to judge by. ]
Yeah, and when are we gonna be ditching these "disguises"? I can't get our damn names straight.
[ If he sounds a little impatient, it's because by the time they both catch on to what "Fujicakes" is really up to, she'll be halfway around the world. When will they learn... ]
What, a little hard work has got you tired already, pal? You're Lee for Lebron and I'm Raul for...some snazzy guy on the beach waiting on the ladies.
[But he knows that feel; he's ready too. He can feel it in the very air, that itch to get moving. He's this close to being antsy himself, but he's keeping it under wraps. Or at least channeling it in that good natured prank. Letting off steam before a job is important, of course.]
I'm as eager to get our paychecks as you are, but we should probably wait a bit since someone drew a lot of attention to us earlier~ At least until the fireworks start.
[The image of them and Lady and the Tramp and drunk is so embarrassing its potent even now and it hasn't happened. Yet. Also clear the schedule for some good ol' Lion King too. Jigen would surely like that kinda classic.
They should learn but Lupin's excuse is his dick....]
I'm gonna want to see the resume you wrote up for us, after this.
[ It wouldn't be much of a job without opportunities for jokes; it's half of the charm. Raul's backstory and Lee's lack of one has Jigen breathe a soft huff, but his mind's drifted to the game, and a hand goes to his belt where he has his magnum tucked neatly against his hip. It's wrapped, of course, made to look like any pouch housing a utility tool: not subtle, but hiding in plain sight is just as effective as any disguise. ]
And whose fault was that? Now everyone's gonna remember us.
[ As possibly "that gay duo who disappeared and was later found robbing the fuck out of someone". Another title to add to their illustrious list.
When Jigen looks back up at that suspiciously unshielded window, he squints against a little flash of light that comes from within the building, like a signal beacon. ]
Wanna get yours framed? [snicker] You remember what they say about instigators...you've just got to ignore them and be mature. You've gotta work on that some more, clearly.
[fat chance that would have been possible with Lupin. Ignore him and he's bound to get worse, louder and clingier. So Jigen probably chose the right method since they would have looked even more like a gay duo had that happened.
Lupin's eyes light up when the signal is spotted and he grins, gaze turning back to Jigen with meaning. That's gotta be Fujiko, done with the "meeting". It surely isn't Goemon, cover blown.] But that's all a part of our repertoire...memorable. Speaking of...
[a pained frown suddenly crosses his features, brows knit and a hand at his stomach] I'm having one hell of a memorable stomach ache...oooh...
[he makes sure he's loud enough to be overheard by anyone around, even lets his legs shake for emphasis]
[ He'd shoot a look of condescension if he had the time to, but Lupin's suddenly moving fast and he has to adjust; thankfully, you have to be a semi-decent actor in the business, so it's not terribly difficult for Jigen to slip into what he assumes is "character". ]
—Must've been all that watercress in your sandwich.
[ Subtle slam there for your poor choice in filling, Lupin. Jigen moves on over to his partner and puts a hand on his back, the picture of a concerned dandy trying to give his friend some support in times of bowel trouble. ]
Hey, let's get you down from here, huh.
[ literally no one tries to stop them because they know how that can go, now. ]
Ooooh...ahhh...the pain, oh the pain! You're just not gonna let that go are you...brat.
[Lupin shoots him an unamused look before he delves straight into theatrics; oh he's stumbling here, knocks them into a few workers who stumble and nearly fall in return, he hobbles there, lets them sway along. He's getting really good at pitching his moans and looking miserable all the way down, back of one palm over his forehead]
[his eyes shine with pain and gratitude when he peers into Jigen's eyes- er, hat.]
I can always count on the kindness of hats...maybe I was wrong about you..maybe in the next life...we can...
[ That's meant to be equal parts corny and sarcastic, Lupin can take his pick. Jigen nods to the poor workers who have to clear the way (some unsuccessfully), and when they both mosey on over to the big lift that eventually takes them back to ground level, he heaves a sigh, out of everyone else's earshot. ]
Jeez. You have a stomachache, not a broken leg.
[ But he's still going to help Lupin hobble on over towards their destination, because he has to find some reason to also move away from the construction site, other than "sorry, we always go to the bathroom in pairs". ]
It's a really bad "stomachache." It might even be my spleen, man. I can see the lights...
[Look who's all better now!!! For the moment. The lights he's talking about are surely the lights of the security system awaiting them, the light at the end of the tunnel when they finally get that item in question, the burning lights of their little hideout blurring behind their eyes because they're gonna drink so much after this to celebrate.
But for now, while they wait to reach ground level, he'll pitch out a miserable groan and a whimper on occasion, just so no one thinks he died up there, lean against the railing and watch their target across the way.
When they get down there all bets are off, though.]
[ Is what he says between a half-smirk, while a running tally goes on in his head, invisible boxes ticked off in anticipation of the inevitable. All pretenses are now going to be shed in favor of practicality, and once the two of them hit sweet, sweet ground, Jigen reaches back and pulls his real tool of the trade out of hiding and into the space between his pants.
Thankfully, no one's watching two guys who want to go to the shitter anymore, so the motion remains, for now, inconspicuous. ]
You got any more disguises I should know about before we start?
[ More fake names, more facial hair (is that even possible)? Jigen's perfectly fine with using the back door to get in instead of the front, but if Lupin wants to be flashy, Jigen's not going to stop him. His partner likes to make an entrance, he likes the fire escape.
He figures Lupin doesn't need a hand anymore, too, so he straightens up and tries to fix his tie...
...only to realize that he doesn't have one on. Awkward. ]
Nah, the ol' Lupin DNA is too strong for something like that. If anything we've gotta look out for your liver.
[offers his partner a wink and shimmies one foot, satisfied that he strapped his own tool securely to one shin. It's an embarrassing scenario for anyone involved, people who have watched him moan and whine and wobble his way down would probably figure he got a little fudgey surprise if they saw...it's a good thing they'll never see these people again.
He weaves through the crowd of people returning from lunch to the offices scattered all throughout the block, perfect for two guys trying to blend in again. Lupin then pushes his way through the revolving door and steps into the empty lobby. Peeking over his shoulder, his mouth widens into a smile of promise.]
This was the last one. It's time for the final costume change. We're just two good samaritan construction guys coming to check on the mysterious hole that's opened up in the bathroom. You never know what kind of crooks could show up during a little maintenance, Jigen.
[Right about now the old man should be spirited away. The card's been sent, Pops is going to be there screaming in no time at all.]
Yeah, crooks who bust holes in perfectly-intact pipes and decide to flood whole buildings.
[ What a cliche tactic, who would ever do anything like that?? Surely they've never done anything like that in the past. Hm.
Jigen takes a moment to appreciate how empty the lobby is for the time being, because it sure as hell won't be in a matter of minutes; keeping his ears trained for the sound of sirens, he makes his way over towards the elevator with his partner in tow, making sure to hold up a wrench when a guard or two looks questioningly at the pair of them. A silent greeting, a silent way to reassure these lunkheads that it's just another Monday at the office.
Pressing the button to go up, he keeps his eyes forward as he whispers under his breath: ]
Can't believe they left this place this wide open.
I'm sure I have no idea what type of petty criminal would do something so low key as that~
[Yeah, yeah! Surely Jigen's not using selective memory and doesn't recall the times they've definitely hypothetically used tactics like that. Absolutely.
Funny how the guard doesn't question the lack of tool boxes...the remains of their lunches look nothing like bags filled with more tools to aid in The Plumbering. It's just as well, who wants to help in a situation like that? No, they're satisfied with a single look.
Lupin hums under his breath as they wait, gaze slanting to meet Jigen.]
They've got other things to worry about...like what miss CEO Fujiko-san's doing in the janitor's closet. Why, everyone else went home for the occasion! They union will keep their traps shut for sure.
[that and most efforts are invested in discovering where the old man ran off to at the moment instead]
Let's hope "miss CEO" doesn't come back to bite us in the ass.
[ One old man gone, another soon to come. The elevator opens with a soft, dignified ring, and Jigen lets Lupin go in first so that Mr. Master Thief can choose which lucky floor gets to be their destination.
The guard standing near the elevator watches the two go in, and just as the doors are starting to close, picks up his urgently ringing radio, dulcet tones of a certain familiar Inspector echoing through the spacious lobby ("—If you see anyone suspicious—") before being cut off by the sealed elevator floor.
A beat passes, and Jigen starts cracking up. Pops... ]
[He sighs loudly, a gust of air, but there's no real heat behind it, just exasperation and a smidgen of amusement. Nice to see Jigen's enjoying himself before they have to bolt like their asses are on fire, of course. Lupin shakes his head, punches in the button for the top floor with fervor.]
Good to know we don't have to worry about his joints stiffening up in his old age.
[With how stubborn these assholes are, there's a good chance the snooty songuns didn't give Zenigata the code, either, so the chances of the item in question being switched is slim.
Lupin bends to retrieve his gun from his shin, yelps when the tape yanks off vital leg hair, tears in his eyes]
I'd say that Pops needs a hobby, but you are his hobby.
[ How lucky of Lupin, right. He snickers as he watches Lupin grab at his leg, leaning against the side wall to enjoy himself at his partner's expense (which will turn out to be at his own expense later, but he'll take what he can). The elevator moves at a good pace, backed by light piano music as it takes them up, up, up towards the unguarded executive floor. ]
Quit waxing yourself for the beach, Raul. We're almost there.
[ For a guy who claims to have a hard time keeping track of covers, he sure remembers Lupin's. ]
A little too obsessed with tying me up if you ask me. Why can't he knit me a sweater instead of being all kinky?
[he shudders, leaving behind The Pain of Dat Leg to wrap his arms around himself and pout. It's pitiful is what it is. A pitiful, brilliant existence. With a final, loud ripping sound and a whine Lupin expertly removes the tape, gun in hand, and climbs back to his feet, straightening to shoot Jigen a scowl]
You think you're really funny today, huh. Raul's not that kind of guy, Lee.
[How sweet of him to remember! No time for that now, the elevator comes to a halt with a shake, Lupin's head swims slightly with the adjustment to the height (the 40th floor, what style, what grace to make it there in record time). The doors pop open with a cheerful ding! And Lupin focuses his eyes on Jigen's, gun raised and back pressed to the side of the panel of buttons. One can never be too careful, especially with Pops involved.]
[ The elevator slows, and Jigen is right there on the other side of the door, magnum in hand, safety unlocked. ]
Been waiting for you to say that.
[ It's one of those incredibly groan-worthy oneliners that you'd only expect Humphrey Bogart to say in perfectly-timed noir moments, but Jigen pulls it off with some conviction; the man lives for moments like these, after all.
As soon as he finishes delivering that sassy quip, he goes quiet to let whoever might be waiting for them on the other side speak up first— but when they're met with silence instead of the usual "drop your weapons and step out with your hands up", Jigen pivots on one heel and trains his gunpoint at the empty hall. ]
[Lupin's only steps behind him, tension wired in the line of his shoulders and the grim line of his mouth until Jigen breathes those words, the magic words! All's well that (almost) ends well. He should probably knock on wood for that but he's not the superstitious one.]
Lookin' good so far. Gotta hand it to her, she's got it.
[It's a ghost town up here. Not a single peep, doesn't even seem to be anyone sticking around for a little overtime. With a spring in his step, Lupin ducks back into the elevator, yoinks a troll doll of wacky hair and creepy refusal of pants of all thing, and deposits it smack dab in the middle of the elevator. Once he steps out, he pushes the button for the first floor and smiles knowingly, already turned to lead down the empty corridor.]
Alright. The head honcho's office is down here and we've got an important appointment to keep.
[ The troll is met with a raised brow on Jigen's part, but he's long since gotten used to the weird trinkets that Lupin keeps around just to piss everyone off. Farewell, naked pink-haired soldier, he barely even knew you.
His formerly well-polished shoes sound too loud in the emptiness of teir surroundings, but all's good where there's no trouble— Jigen's almost tempted to have a smoke, but setting anything off, be it a smoke alarm, would be hideously counterproductive.
Instead, he strides on down the hall next to Lupin, efficiently landing a bullet in the nearest surveillance cam that tries to swivel on over to look where they're standing. RIP. ]
Punctuality's always been your strong suit.
[ There's a slight lilt to his voice, a reedy amusement that shows in an upwards twitch of his lips as he nears the biggest set of double-doors. ]
[At least there are tasteful paintings to look at, all probably done by college students who begged with ramen cups and beer can Christmas bonuses to get their work signed over for a company like this.
Lupin doesn't bat an eye when Jigen kills the camera softly. One of the moments to come has arrived. He plucks his wallet from his back trouser pocket and removes what looks like...a credit card? It's not even a keycard? No, it's not. But as if it was one, Lupin slides it through the panel indicated and punches in a choice code. It takes a second, a second Lupin's jaw locks the slightest bit, but the screen flashes bright green, the door's lock yields with a metalic click, and his palms are already pushing the doors open. It's an expansive room filled wall to wall with two bookshelves filled with novels to law manuals, no doubt. There's even a fish tank in here. Too easy.]
I always make it a point to clear my schedule with my secretary.
[who's the secretary]
We've got a few. From Fujicakes' info we're looking for a paperweight that's actually a statue. [he takes one look at the grand mahogany desk in the middle of the office, the countless paperweights piled atop to guard a myriad of papers, and sighs, lips pursed. One way to get this over with; Lupin strides on over and starts to rifle through]
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Jigen's comment dashes the pleased look on his face by degrees, he snaps a long end of the tape open loudly, nose in the air]
No! That makes me the main dawg eat dog with the voice. Besides, you know I'm more of a guitar guy myself.
[a dog with a...guita...r...? stop Lupin 2k15]
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He'll have to scuff out all of these chalk marks he's making later, just in case some poor architect does decide to punch in some screws on these carelessly-made Xs. ]
Yeah, yeah. You're the whole goddamn band, dog or no.
[ Strings, brass, woodwind. Lupin's a one-man everything, and Jigen says as much with a little wave of his hand. ]
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[one of these days they're all going to get completely trashed and watch shitty
disneymovies. Like real, mature adults. But it doesn't really matter for now.Now it's all about taking in the lay of the land. Measurements seemingly done, Lupin makes it look as if he's merely surveying what they have left to do, neck craned so he can look up, up, up--
Those blinds in the building adjacent to them seem to be drawn open now. Interesting]
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He looks mildly affronted by this slam at his taste, a brow arching under the brim of his borsalino, hand stopping midair, mid-X. But before he can comment, he follows Lupin's gaze skyward, stopping at the window in question. ]
...You think the meeting's adjourned?
[ And without a single gunshot, this is new. ]
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He squints, raises his hand to shield his gaze from the glare of the sun]
Either that or they're taking five for lunch. Fujicakes should be working her magic right about now.
[He's given her a bit of free reign on her tactics, as she does know what the plan is, and that's not going to be a problem or anything, nope.
Down below, the RV shakes a few more times before seemingly spitting out three more suits, glasses broken, noses bloody, the works. The old man in charge of the project stomps out, fists in the air and spitting mad.]
See? Everything's coming up Lupin.
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The shakedown that's happening below earns a low whistle, appreciation for the old man who still has quite a bit of fight in him, if the scene below is anything to judge by. ]
Yeah, and when are we gonna be ditching these "disguises"? I can't get our damn names straight.
[ If he sounds a little impatient, it's because by the time they both catch on to what "Fujicakes" is really up to, she'll be halfway around the world. When will they learn... ]
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[But he knows that feel; he's ready too. He can feel it in the very air, that itch to get moving. He's this close to being antsy himself, but he's keeping it under wraps. Or at least channeling it in that good natured prank. Letting off steam before a job is important, of course.]
I'm as eager to get our paychecks as you are, but we should probably wait a bit since someone drew a lot of attention to us earlier~ At least until the fireworks start.
[The image of them and Lady and the Tramp and drunk is so embarrassing its potent even now and it hasn't happened. Yet. Also clear the schedule for some good ol' Lion King too. Jigen would surely like that kinda classic.
They should learn but Lupin's excuse is his dick....]
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[ It wouldn't be much of a job without opportunities for jokes; it's half of the charm. Raul's backstory and Lee's lack of one has Jigen breathe a soft huff, but his mind's drifted to the game, and a hand goes to his belt where he has his magnum tucked neatly against his hip. It's wrapped, of course, made to look like any pouch housing a utility tool: not subtle, but hiding in plain sight is just as effective as any disguise. ]
And whose fault was that? Now everyone's gonna remember us.
[ As possibly "that gay duo who disappeared and was later found robbing the fuck out of someone". Another title to add to their illustrious list.
When Jigen looks back up at that suspiciously unshielded window, he squints against a little flash of light that comes from within the building, like a signal beacon. ]
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[fat chance that would have been possible with Lupin. Ignore him and he's bound to get worse, louder and clingier. So Jigen probably chose the right method since they would have looked even more like a gay duo had that happened.
Lupin's eyes light up when the signal is spotted and he grins, gaze turning back to Jigen with meaning. That's gotta be Fujiko, done with the "meeting". It surely isn't Goemon, cover blown.] But that's all a part of our repertoire...memorable. Speaking of...
[a pained frown suddenly crosses his features, brows knit and a hand at his stomach] I'm having one hell of a memorable stomach ache...oooh...
[he makes sure he's loud enough to be overheard by anyone around, even lets his legs shake for emphasis]
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[ He'd shoot a look of condescension if he had the time to, but Lupin's suddenly moving fast and he has to adjust; thankfully, you have to be a semi-decent actor in the business, so it's not terribly difficult for Jigen to slip into what he assumes is "character". ]
—Must've been all that watercress in your sandwich.
[ Subtle slam there for your poor choice in filling, Lupin. Jigen moves on over to his partner and puts a hand on his back, the picture of a concerned dandy trying to give his friend some support in times of bowel trouble. ]
Hey, let's get you down from here, huh.
[ literally no one tries to stop them because they know how that can go, now. ]
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[Lupin shoots him an unamused look before he delves straight into theatrics; oh he's stumbling here, knocks them into a few workers who stumble and nearly fall in return, he hobbles there, lets them sway along. He's getting really good at pitching his moans and looking miserable all the way down, back of one palm over his forehead]
[his eyes shine with pain and gratitude when he peers into Jigen's eyes- er, hat.]
I can always count on the kindness of hats...maybe I was wrong about you..maybe in the next life...we can...
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[ That's meant to be equal parts corny and sarcastic, Lupin can take his pick. Jigen nods to the poor workers who have to clear the way (some unsuccessfully), and when they both mosey on over to the big lift that eventually takes them back to ground level, he heaves a sigh, out of everyone else's earshot. ]
Jeez. You have a stomachache, not a broken leg.
[ But he's still going to help Lupin hobble on over towards their destination, because he has to find some reason to also move away from the construction site, other than "sorry, we always go to the bathroom in pairs". ]
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[Look who's all better now!!! For the moment. The lights he's talking about are surely the lights of the security system awaiting them, the light at the end of the tunnel when they finally get that item in question, the burning lights of their little hideout blurring behind their eyes because they're gonna drink so much after this to celebrate.
But for now, while they wait to reach ground level, he'll pitch out a miserable groan and a whimper on occasion, just so no one thinks he died up there, lean against the railing and watch their target across the way.
When they get down there all bets are off, though.]
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[ Is what he says between a half-smirk, while a running tally goes on in his head, invisible boxes ticked off in anticipation of the inevitable. All pretenses are now going to be shed in favor of practicality, and once the two of them hit sweet, sweet ground, Jigen reaches back and pulls his real tool of the trade out of hiding and into the space between his pants.
Thankfully, no one's watching two guys who want to go to the shitter anymore, so the motion remains, for now, inconspicuous. ]
You got any more disguises I should know about before we start?
[ More fake names, more facial hair (is that even possible)? Jigen's perfectly fine with using the back door to get in instead of the front, but if Lupin wants to be flashy, Jigen's not going to stop him. His partner likes to make an entrance, he likes the fire escape.
He figures Lupin doesn't need a hand anymore, too, so he straightens up and tries to fix his tie...
...only to realize that he doesn't have one on. Awkward. ]
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[offers his partner a wink and shimmies one foot, satisfied that he strapped his own tool securely to one shin. It's an embarrassing scenario for anyone involved, people who have watched him moan and whine and wobble his way down would probably figure he got a little fudgey surprise if they saw...it's a good thing they'll never see these people again.
He weaves through the crowd of people returning from lunch to the offices scattered all throughout the block, perfect for two guys trying to blend in again. Lupin then pushes his way through the revolving door and steps into the empty lobby. Peeking over his shoulder, his mouth widens into a smile of promise.]
This was the last one. It's time for the final costume change. We're just two good samaritan construction guys coming to check on the mysterious hole that's opened up in the bathroom. You never know what kind of crooks could show up during a little maintenance, Jigen.
[Right about now the old man should be spirited away. The card's been sent, Pops is going to be there screaming in no time at all.]
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[ What a cliche tactic, who would ever do anything like that?? Surely they've never done anything like that in the past. Hm.
Jigen takes a moment to appreciate how empty the lobby is for the time being, because it sure as hell won't be in a matter of minutes; keeping his ears trained for the sound of sirens, he makes his way over towards the elevator with his partner in tow, making sure to hold up a wrench when a guard or two looks questioningly at the pair of them. A silent greeting, a silent way to reassure these lunkheads that it's just another Monday at the office.
Pressing the button to go up, he keeps his eyes forward as he whispers under his breath: ]
Can't believe they left this place this wide open.
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[Yeah, yeah! Surely Jigen's not using selective memory and doesn't recall the times they've definitely hypothetically used tactics like that. Absolutely.
Funny how the guard doesn't question the lack of tool boxes...the remains of their lunches look nothing like bags filled with more tools to aid in The Plumbering. It's just as well, who wants to help in a situation like that? No, they're satisfied with a single look.
Lupin hums under his breath as they wait, gaze slanting to meet Jigen.]
They've got other things to worry about...like what miss CEO Fujiko-san's doing in the janitor's closet. Why, everyone else went home for the occasion! They union will keep their traps shut for sure.
[that and most efforts are invested in discovering where the old man ran off to at the moment instead]
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[ One old man gone, another soon to come. The elevator opens with a soft, dignified ring, and Jigen lets Lupin go in first so that Mr. Master Thief can choose which lucky floor gets to be their destination.
The guard standing near the elevator watches the two go in, and just as the doors are starting to close, picks up his urgently ringing radio, dulcet tones of a certain familiar Inspector echoing through the spacious lobby ("—If you see anyone suspicious—") before being cut off by the sealed elevator floor.
A beat passes, and Jigen starts cracking up. Pops... ]
Damn, talk about timing!
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[He sighs loudly, a gust of air, but there's no real heat behind it, just exasperation and a smidgen of amusement. Nice to see Jigen's enjoying himself before they have to bolt like their asses are on fire, of course. Lupin shakes his head, punches in the button for the top floor with fervor.]
Good to know we don't have to worry about his joints stiffening up in his old age.
[With how stubborn these assholes are, there's a good chance the snooty songuns didn't give Zenigata the code, either, so the chances of the item in question being switched is slim.
Lupin bends to retrieve his gun from his shin, yelps when the tape yanks off vital leg hair, tears in his eyes]
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[ How lucky of Lupin, right. He snickers as he watches Lupin grab at his leg, leaning against the side wall to enjoy himself at his partner's expense (which will turn out to be at his own expense later, but he'll take what he can). The elevator moves at a good pace, backed by light piano music as it takes them up, up, up towards the unguarded executive floor. ]
Quit waxing yourself for the beach, Raul. We're almost there.
[ For a guy who claims to have a hard time keeping track of covers, he sure remembers Lupin's. ]
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[he shudders, leaving behind The Pain of Dat Leg to wrap his arms around himself and pout. It's pitiful is what it is. A pitiful, brilliant existence. With a final, loud ripping sound and a whine Lupin expertly removes the tape, gun in hand, and climbs back to his feet, straightening to shoot Jigen a scowl]
You think you're really funny today, huh. Raul's not that kind of guy, Lee.
[How sweet of him to remember! No time for that now, the elevator comes to a halt with a shake, Lupin's head swims slightly with the adjustment to the height (the 40th floor, what style, what grace to make it there in record time). The doors pop open with a cheerful ding! And Lupin focuses his eyes on Jigen's, gun raised and back pressed to the side of the panel of buttons. One can never be too careful, especially with Pops involved.]
Ready to tango, partner?
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Been waiting for you to say that.
[ It's one of those incredibly groan-worthy oneliners that you'd only expect Humphrey Bogart to say in perfectly-timed noir moments, but Jigen pulls it off with some conviction; the man lives for moments like these, after all.
As soon as he finishes delivering that sassy quip, he goes quiet to let whoever might be waiting for them on the other side speak up first— but when they're met with silence instead of the usual "drop your weapons and step out with your hands up", Jigen pivots on one heel and trains his gunpoint at the empty hall. ]
—All clear.
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Lookin' good so far. Gotta hand it to her, she's got it.
[It's a ghost town up here. Not a single peep, doesn't even seem to be anyone sticking around for a little overtime. With a spring in his step, Lupin ducks back into the elevator, yoinks a troll doll of wacky hair and creepy refusal of pants of all thing, and deposits it smack dab in the middle of the elevator. Once he steps out, he pushes the button for the first floor and smiles knowingly, already turned to lead down the empty corridor.]
Alright. The head honcho's office is down here and we've got an important appointment to keep.
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His formerly well-polished shoes sound too loud in the emptiness of teir surroundings, but all's good where there's no trouble— Jigen's almost tempted to have a smoke, but setting anything off, be it a smoke alarm, would be hideously counterproductive.
Instead, he strides on down the hall next to Lupin, efficiently landing a bullet in the nearest surveillance cam that tries to swivel on over to look where they're standing. RIP. ]
Punctuality's always been your strong suit.
[ There's a slight lilt to his voice, a reedy amusement that shows in an upwards twitch of his lips as he nears the biggest set of double-doors. ]
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Lupin doesn't bat an eye when Jigen kills the camera softly. One of the moments to come has arrived. He plucks his wallet from his back trouser pocket and removes what looks like...a credit card? It's not even a keycard? No, it's not. But as if it was one, Lupin slides it through the panel indicated and punches in a choice code. It takes a second, a second Lupin's jaw locks the slightest bit, but the screen flashes bright green, the door's lock yields with a metalic click, and his palms are already pushing the doors open. It's an expansive room filled wall to wall with two bookshelves filled with novels to law manuals, no doubt. There's even a fish tank in here. Too easy.]
I always make it a point to clear my schedule with my secretary.
[who's the secretary]
We've got a few. From Fujicakes' info we're looking for a paperweight that's actually a statue. [he takes one look at the grand mahogany desk in the middle of the office, the countless paperweights piled atop to guard a myriad of papers, and sighs, lips pursed. One way to get this over with; Lupin strides on over and starts to rifle through]
Euuugh, speaking of tacky hobbies...
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holy fuck i love how i catch my mistakes almost a day after i made them!!
me and spelling mistakes always... PATS U
sob ty(note to self and also you, MAYBe zenigata has a gd cuff machine or the copter was sabotaged?
CUFF MACHINE IT IS, zenigata the prince
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