[Dipping her head slightly, she turns her face, rogue blushed cheek brushing against him. Gross.
Oh, if only he knew. Not quite a don, but a guard dog turning his nose up at the scraps and biting the tails off the little yapping rookies that get too close to his den. He doesn't even swat deserving dumbasses with his precious hat.]
Pall Malls, actually. He smokes those. And his face is really, really handsome. He tries so hard not to make faces when I kiss him but, well...
[His smile turns all soft again, for a quarter of a second, before the teeth are back, ready to line Baroqueheat's throat if need be.]
I don't think it'll be much of a race, since all you'll be privy to is the sight of my dust in the distance.
[ Whoa, whoa. There's a low whistle, impressed and maybe slightly teasing; when did he get on the other side of a healthy boast? Married women, really. He's good at telling when people are being genuinely fond, and there it is, that dull ache that he likes to pretend is just plain annoyance. How are people so happy, all the time?
He laughs, pulls his arms up to drape them over her a shitty octopus. ]
I'm a Marlboros guy, wanna kiss me and see if I taste different? ♥
[ Now he's really motivated to steal this thing, serves her shitty husband right for not getting it for her when he had the chance. ]
Really? That's so cold, after all we've been through together...!
[Giggling lowly at the whistle, he plays at being shy, shoulders wiggling beneath him before they settle, her against him. She taps a finger against her own chin, as if really considering this.]
Hmmm...you are definitely the kiss and tell kind of guy~ But am I really a challenge if my husband won't get jealous? Besides, I know you'll taste different. Worlds different.
[She rolls her eyes playfully. God, the nerve of this brat. Does he really think he's going to get one up on the Master Thief? No, he thinks he's going to get one up on this possible dominatrix wife of a possible mob don. Fat chance.]
All's fair in love and loot, darling boy. If you can't handle the heat, stay in the back during dodge ball.
[ As lovely as the lady is, as much as he would love to get her in the coat closet and have a little bit of fun (in your fucking dreams, Baroqueshit), he considers what it'd be like to hightail it out of here with Rahzel in tow, blowing a kiss to Ms. Busty and Beautiful with stolen jewels safe in the hands of his princess.
Oh, that's exciting.
His definition of "reeling it in" is to squeeze her bum and then put his hands up in surrender, though, so maybe he's just a greedy little shit. ]
Don't you want to make your husband jealous? Listen, I'm just being helpful.
[ But! A quick glance at the clock says that he has about thirty minutes, which means that he might have to excuse himself to go the gentleman's room so he can start crawling through vents... being a thief is so hard, this is why he doesn't do it often. ]
And I can definitely handle the heat, it's in my name.
[Okay the ass squeeze definitely garners some volume that turns a few eyes their way, and Lupin jumps about 5 inches in the air, coincidentally the same length of Baroqueheat's dick, and when he lands, turns wide eyes and red cheeks on the Brat, bosom in a flutter.
Gross! Fucking gross! He's going to have to squeeze Jigen's butt twenty times to forget this incident. SICK. Of course all she does is reach over and swat him too hard on the ass, squealing--]
You're so bad~ No, I don't want to make him jealous that much. As fun as it is to see his little faces and then make up, and as much as I know he'll forgive me...I don't want him to burn dinner next time.
[His gaze is drawn to whatever Baroqueheat's looking at-- it's the clock. It's almost show time!]
Will you at least leave me with your name before I extinguish you?
[ What has Jigen's ass done to deserve this!! Baroqueheat, ignorant to the plight of Jigen's buns, just cackles like the shithead he is and takes his own spanking like a pro. He even seems to enjoy it, too. Lupin should go wash that hand. ]
I'm a homewrecker, what can I say? ♥ Your husband deserves it for leaving you alone with Big Bad Wolf.
[ Little wolfpaws accompany his statement. He'd be cute if he just shut up. ]
—And the name's Baroqueheat, Baron Obscene. The title's a labor of love from my princess, cute, right?
[What the fuck hasn't Jigen's ass done?! It's directly responsible for what's happening in the now. It's gonna get thirty squeezes at this rate. Lupin's going to wash his hand with acid.]
But the only wolf here I see is this She-Wolf, right here. Now, there's a pup before me, nipping. Could he be whom you're referring? [Accentuated with a toothy grin of her own]
[BARON OB- that's actually a good one. Lupin chuffs a laugh, fingers pluck a fold of his dress, right at the knee, and does a little curtsy.]
It's nice to make your acquaintance, your lordship. Your little princess is truly a wordsmith!
[and a firecracker, probably. Good. Those types keep 'em on their toes.]
So you're a cat kind of woman! I figured, girls who like leather would like cats and catsuits.
[ An expert opinion, if he may say so himself. This brings him to thoughts about Catwoman and tight-fitting bodysuits... no, focus. Focus. Thankfully, that finger to his nose brings him back into the here and now. Bless you, Busty Babe. ]
Hmm~. Are you saying that I should settle? I don't like settling... unless it's settling on a bed with a gorgeous woman like you!
But since you're saying no to Operation: Make Hubby Jealous, Hi-tan's not looking to settle. What do they say about diamonds, again? They're a girl's best friend? I want my princess to have more friends in her life. Especially since diamonds don't talk and I won't have to make food for them.
Too bad you don't know for sure if I have a whip or not.
[Yeah this must be how Fujiko feels...so powerful and sleek. Not that he isn't either of these things! Should he get a really tight catsuit? Would Fujiko like that they match? Would Jigen? Would he pull it off with his teeth? Their thoughts are so similar it's disgusting.]
You should accept the place you've made for yourself. Keep fighting, but don't ever go back...you'll probably wind up with crocodile tears and a strip search~
[that's almost sweet...almost.] Perhaps you should put her in school so she can be near diamonds her own age instead of perverts-- excuse me, protective guard dogs?
[ Jigen and Fujiko would bond over their mutual distaste, keep dreaming Lupin!!!! Meanwhile, Baroqueheat wonders if he should drag Alzeid into a catsuit and make him stand outside for booze money... Rahzel would probably like that, enjoyment in his humiliation. Or maybe she'd take Alzeid's side and kick Baroqueheat into the next dimension, that too.
He listens to this very helpful and actually practical life advice (he should stop being a pervert, the one thing he should take away from all of this), a grin on his face and a little cant of his neck that would indicate that he's being attentive.
And yet, his reply is still a shitty: ] Probably. Maybe? She might like that, but probably not— she doesn't like being tied down? Every time I've tried, she's found a way to slip through!
[ jfc ]
—But really, the truth of it is that I'm selfish and she's selfish and she's just as cute rolling around in mud as she is in sparkles, so I want her to have both. No debate!
[THE TWO OF THEM AT ONCE?!?! Holy shit, dude, don't give Lupin a heart attack with a boner. Do you want the EMT to get their eye poked out? They need that to save lives. Can't all of them wear cat suits? That'll solve everyone's outstanding problems.
Yeah the asshole smirk is quite telling, which is why Lupin narrows his eyes.]
I'm afraid the two of you are going to be sorely disappointed and possibly sore in the morning after I'm through~ You will be, mostly. I'll be nothing but nice to her. Maybe we'll have tea and talk about you?
[deadpanned]
Don't use fisherman's knots, then, or your noose won't be so comfortable.
[he would know. He hopes she does tie this asshole up by his balls, what the fuck kind of guardian is he?!]
[ Maybe Lupin can have a suit made entirely out of live cats to scratch his balls off!!! HMPH.
Hmm. this is proving to be more difficult than he thought... As if he anticipated that his raw charisma and charm would be enough to deter mafia madam and her big beefy husband to back off from the diamonds he wants to steal. What if he gets put on their hitlist, will they have to go on the run again? Rahzel wanted to enjoy the hot springs in this town, shit... He's going to be in so much shit if he walks away from this with pretty jewels and goons after their ass. His ass.
Please don't put him in the leather dungeon.
He scratches his cheek, thinking, but decides: to hell with it. Live dangerously or live not at all. ]
I wish I could say that I make exceptions for pretty faces, but not when my princess's dignity is on the line! My ass will be sore and my ropeburns will be many, but the crown jewel of the night will be mine! ♥
[no thanks he'd rather just have someone fondle them gently and lovingly...pointed look @ Fujiko or Jigen.
Well he should look on the brightside, Lupin is: there's no possible, conceivable way his ass is getting out of this unscathed. Lupin's accepted it, it's about time Hi-tan did. His ass is on target no matter what happens. It's doomed.
No promises. At all.]
You know, it's really sweet how you're trying so hard...and I won't ask you to give up...I just ask you not to cry too loudly when I walk away with it, okay? It'll make my husband feel bad.
[Gently lays a hand on his arm and gives him a doe eyed look, a soft look, like she actually gives a fuck.]
[ on Lupin's gravestone: "Lupin the Third, whose last desires were to have his balls fondled. Amen."
Her supposed compassion is heartening, and despite the fact that he's planning to punk Madam Mystery hardcore, he does smile and lean in for, yes, a cheek kiss (Lupin's going to have to quarantine this bodysuit). ]
I'd love to make your husband feel bad, but not with my crocodile tears.
[ Baroqueheat actually kind of does want to bully this strange mafia husband, but that's order number two on his list. He pulls back, scoops up a piece of "her" hand in one index finger. ]
It hurts me to leave you, but my necklace beckons!
[Well if we're going to be precise to his wishes, he actually wanted some other stuff too, but it might not fit...? That's what she said.
Lupin's entire body goes rigid, smile frozen on his face, when those disgusting probably STD ridden lips touch the suit. He can almost feel the goddamn spit and the impression of his lips right through the body suit and suddenly, as time stops and he has a moment to think about it and be self aware, he catches a glimpse of his soul retreating into the stratosphere.
She just laughs good naturedly.]
He's a bit of a softie, so if you cry and wet yourself a little, I'm sure you'll be just fine.
[She waves him off with her free hand, eyes sparkling like his soul hasn't left him]
Oh, that pain will fade for more, later. But you should go find your princess before she comes to rescue you, my little pet.
[ Somewhere in this room, Jigen feels a piece of Lupin's soul brush by him on its way to the stratosphere, manifested in a pinch to his ass.
And if that weren't enough, Baroqueheat takes the waved hand and smooches that, too, just so 'she' can have more of a reason to test 'her' collection of flamethrowers later. ]
I'll find her once I have what I came here for! ♥
[ And with a wink (ugh), he trots off— where to? The men's room, of course, where he's hidden his stash of thieving goods in one of the stalls, how... original. If he's going to go full Mission Impossible on this shit, he's going to go the whole nine yards, okay.
He's still not looking forward to crawling through vents, but he will. ]
[Yeah Lupin's just gonna GO WASH HIS ENTIRE FUCKING ARM ABOUT FIFTY TIMES in the ladies room after he waves goodbye, thanks!!
Disgusting, sick sick sick. He doesn't want to think about how many STDs are currently on his goddamn hand, waiting to strike and ruin his life, so it's best to just scald his hand, right? Right. That's a good idea. Maybe Fujiko will let him touch her tit until he feels better.
Where is the master thief's stash, by the way? In one of the Master Bedrooms, of course. It's the best way to catch flies, after all.
Seriously bathroom stalls? Been there, done that, n00b.]
[ Listen Lupin, just because Baroqueheat's smooth as shit, don't hate... we all know that Lupin wants to take a leaf out of that shitty book. That shitty Bedazzled book covered in STDs. That shitty Bedazzled book covered in STDs titled "The Gospel of Baroqueheat". He's taking new converts.
Speaking of taking, though: while the party's going on, this shitty not!ninja changes out of his tux into his thieving gear, which is basically tight pants and a wifebeater, like a terrible visual-kei version of John McClane. Bruce Willis would be appalled. Equipped with rope, grappling hook, and a few other odds and ends that could have him be misconstrued as someone working at an S&M bar, he sets down the hall and into the room adjacent of the one holding all the items for tonight's auction. Maybe he can carve a hole through the wall... too obvious? Maybe the ceiling is a better choice.
So. Up into the ceiling he goes, via chairs stacked on top of chairs. (Thank god for circus experience.) ]
[LUPIN IS CLEAN? HE'S HAPPY BEING CLEAN?? HE WOULD BE AS DRY AND DANGEROUS AS HI-TAN'S DICK IF HE WASN'T!! He in no way, shape or form wants his book to be covered in as much dirt and shit as Baroqueheat's. He wants nothing of this at all, he's sending away for a crate of Holy Water.
Lupin's preparations are more simplistic than an outfit change and ceiling rescues....for now, anyway. He does have to lure two security guards into the Master Bedroom and promise them to have their way with 'her'....
Of course the second either of them gets a facefull of those fake tits they're both subjected to a potent sleep gas, yes, right from the tits. It's convenient as hell. With Jigen out there on lookout, it takes very little time at all for him to find the secret switch...........
But no password!! So guess who has very little time and one slinky dress to crawl all up into the ceiling in? This guy!!
[ CLEAN...I glances. Can Lupin really profess to be clean, with a clear conscience? At least Baroqueheat embraces the fact that he's as clean as gutter water. Denial, river, Egypt.
Said dirty asshole is grumbling under his breath at how shitty and dusty the ceiling is, how people don't crawl through these spaces for a reason, when he sees the familiar outline of something that seems unmistakably like an ass in front of him.
Huh.
Said ass is clothed in a dress that is unmistakably the dress of that pretty mafia madam that he was talking to earlier.
Double huh.
So this is what she was talking about when she was talking about dodgeball and being better at it than him. What a kinky woman, cat burgling with a little leather play on the side.
Grinning from ear to ear, Baroqueheat crawls towards her and
spanks a palm against that ass, holy shit he's going to get murdered later. ]
[His dick is at least moderately clean which is more than anyone can say for a single inch of Baroqueheat's dick. His heart? That's another story that'll take on at least three decades.
Lupin's just thanking his lucky stars he hasn't seen any mice yet-- not that he's afraid of them. They're just inconveniences. Cute, but bite through things and are just generally a nuisance.
So it's double his unluck that one particular rat swats a hand against his ass, which wrenches the loudest shriek from Lupin's mouth to date.
(That's definitely not Jigen--)
Turning to glower over his shoulder at that damn voice, he snarls:]
Just what the hell do you think you're doing?!
[He's going to have the pleasure of becoming ground beef once Lupin finds a fan to push him through~~]
[ Don't be rude to that dick, that dick is a war veteran, it's been places, Seen Things. Truly, you whippersnappers don't know how to respect your elders.
And.. whoa, okay, he's definitely caught her at the wrong time. In a bad mood because her brand-name dress is getting dirty...? Hm.
He reaches out and rubs that ass because it must be aching, sorry. (Sorry for being alive, more like.) ]
[NO IT ISN'T. It's not a war veteran, its a sponge, a SPONGE!! that's all it is and ever will be. It doesn't deserve a medal of honor. He won't respect Baroqueheat's erectile dysfunction clause.
A strange sound echoes throughout their enclosed little paradise of two. It's a grinding sound. Like something...hard? Something like teeth? Ah, yes, it's Lupin trying not to shatter his own teeth with the rage powered through his clenched jaws.
It takes a moment, but 'she' lets out a giggle.]
Oh dear, it looks like you caught up to me~ I'm almost proud. Why don't we...
[Reaching back, she touches his hand and bends it backwards painfully]
Get a little more friendly, hmm~?
[At this rate Lupin is never going to come out of the bath. It's almost as bad as that one time Zenigata dressed in drag for that festival and Lupin's face made contact with his ass. It was perky.]
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no subject
Oh, if only he knew. Not quite a don, but a guard dog turning his nose up at the scraps and biting the tails off the little yapping rookies that get too close to his den. He doesn't even swat deserving dumbasses with his precious hat.]
Pall Malls, actually. He smokes those. And his face is really, really handsome. He tries so hard not to make faces when I kiss him but, well...
[His smile turns all soft again, for a quarter of a second, before the teeth are back, ready to line Baroqueheat's throat if need be.]
I don't think it'll be much of a race, since all you'll be privy to is the sight of my dust in the distance.
no subject
He laughs, pulls his arms up to drape them over her a shitty octopus. ]
I'm a Marlboros guy, wanna kiss me and see if I taste different? ♥
[ Now he's really motivated to steal this thing, serves her shitty husband right for not getting it for her when he had the chance. ]
Really? That's so cold, after all we've been through together...!
no subject
Hmmm...you are definitely the kiss and tell kind of guy~ But am I really a challenge if my husband won't get jealous? Besides, I know you'll taste different. Worlds different.
[She rolls her eyes playfully. God, the nerve of this brat. Does he really think he's going to get one up on the Master Thief? No, he thinks he's going to get one up on this possible dominatrix wife of a possible mob don. Fat chance.]
All's fair in love and loot, darling boy. If you can't handle the heat, stay in the back during dodge ball.
no subject
Oh, that's exciting.
His definition of "reeling it in" is to squeeze her bum and then put his hands up in surrender, though, so maybe he's just a greedy little shit. ]
Don't you want to make your husband jealous? Listen, I'm just being helpful.
[ But! A quick glance at the clock says that he has about thirty minutes, which means that he might have to excuse himself to go the gentleman's room so he can start crawling through vents... being a thief is so hard, this is why he doesn't do it often. ]
And I can definitely handle the heat, it's in my name.
no subject
Gross! Fucking gross! He's going to have to squeeze Jigen's butt twenty times to forget this incident. SICK. Of course all she does is reach over and swat him too hard on the ass, squealing--]
You're so bad~ No, I don't want to make him jealous that much. As fun as it is to see his little faces and then make up, and as much as I know he'll forgive me...I don't want him to burn dinner next time.
[His gaze is drawn to whatever Baroqueheat's looking at-- it's the clock. It's almost show time!]
Will you at least leave me with your name before I extinguish you?
no subject
I'm a homewrecker, what can I say? ♥ Your husband deserves it for leaving you alone with Big Bad Wolf.
[ Little wolfpaws accompany his statement. He'd be cute if he just shut up. ]
—And the name's Baroqueheat, Baron Obscene. The title's a labor of love from my princess, cute, right?
no subject
But the only wolf here I see is this She-Wolf, right here. Now, there's a pup before me, nipping. Could he be whom you're referring? [Accentuated with a toothy grin of her own]
[BARON OB- that's actually a good one. Lupin chuffs a laugh, fingers pluck a fold of his dress, right at the knee, and does a little curtsy.]
It's nice to make your acquaintance, your lordship. Your little princess is truly a wordsmith!
[and a firecracker, probably. Good. Those types keep 'em on their toes.]
no subject
The curtsy is returned with a bow, perfectly executed in a mockery of a real gentleman's gesture, with straight posture and one impeccably-bent arm.
Internally, he thinks: sorry, pretty lady, but you're not gonna get what you came here for. (famous last words.) ]
Big Bad Puppy, then. The quickest way to a woman's heart is with a cute little dog, didn't you know?
[ All smiles on his end, as he shoves his hands into his suit pockets. ]
My little princess is going to be a winner! You'll see, she looks really good in sparkles.
no subject
Lupin leans in, and a manicured nail taps Baroqueheat lightly on the tip of his nose.
He sure tries to think inside the coot- box doesn't he. Expected as his thinking is.]
Kittens, actually. With collars made of sapphires.
[He really loves his "princess" doesn't he? Lupin has to wonder just what type of woman would put up with an idiot blowhard like this.
(There's probably a high pitched little squeak of a sneeze from somewhere in the distance)
Lupin smiles.]
I think you could do a little better-- with rubies. Leave the real pickings to the pros. Rubies would suit your little princess best, I think.
no subject
[ An expert opinion, if he may say so himself. This brings him to thoughts about Catwoman and tight-fitting bodysuits... no, focus. Focus. Thankfully, that finger to his nose brings him back into the here and now. Bless you, Busty Babe. ]
Hmm~. Are you saying that I should settle? I don't like settling... unless it's settling on a bed with a gorgeous woman like you!
But since you're saying no to Operation: Make Hubby Jealous, Hi-tan's not looking to settle. What do they say about diamonds, again? They're a girl's best friend? I want my princess to have more friends in her life. Especially since diamonds don't talk and I won't have to make food for them.
no subject
[Yeah this must be how Fujiko feels...so powerful and sleek. Not that he isn't either of these things! Should he get a really tight catsuit? Would Fujiko like that they match? Would Jigen? Would he pull it off with his teeth? Their thoughts are so similar it's disgusting.]
You should accept the place you've made for yourself. Keep fighting, but don't ever go back...you'll probably wind up with crocodile tears and a strip search~
[that's almost sweet...almost.] Perhaps you should put her in school so she can be near diamonds her own age instead of perverts-- excuse me, protective guard dogs?
no subject
He listens to this very helpful and actually practical life advice (he should stop being a pervert, the one thing he should take away from all of this), a grin on his face and a little cant of his neck that would indicate that he's being attentive.
And yet, his reply is still a shitty: ] Probably. Maybe? She might like that, but probably not— she doesn't like being tied down? Every time I've tried, she's found a way to slip through!
[ jfc ]
—But really, the truth of it is that I'm selfish and she's selfish and she's just as cute rolling around in mud as she is in sparkles, so I want her to have both. No debate!
no subject
Yeah the asshole smirk is quite telling, which is why Lupin narrows his eyes.]
I'm afraid the two of you are going to be sorely disappointed and possibly sore in the morning after I'm through~ You will be, mostly. I'll be nothing but nice to her. Maybe we'll have tea and talk about you?
[deadpanned]
Don't use fisherman's knots, then, or your noose won't be so comfortable.
[he would know. He hopes she does tie this asshole up by his balls, what the fuck kind of guardian is he?!]
no subject
Hmm. this is proving to be more difficult than he thought... As if he anticipated that his raw charisma and charm would be enough to deter mafia madam and her big beefy husband to back off from the diamonds he wants to steal. What if he gets put on their hitlist, will they have to go on the run again? Rahzel wanted to enjoy the hot springs in this town, shit... He's going to be in so much shit if he walks away from this with pretty jewels and goons after their ass. His ass.
Please don't put him in the leather dungeon.
He scratches his cheek, thinking, but decides: to hell with it. Live dangerously or live not at all. ]
I wish I could say that I make exceptions for pretty faces, but not when my princess's dignity is on the line! My ass will be sore and my ropeburns will be many, but the crown jewel of the night will be mine! ♥
no subject
Well he should look on the brightside, Lupin is: there's no possible, conceivable way his ass is getting out of this unscathed. Lupin's accepted it, it's about time Hi-tan did. His ass is on target no matter what happens. It's doomed.
No promises. At all.]
You know, it's really sweet how you're trying so hard...and I won't ask you to give up...I just ask you not to cry too loudly when I walk away with it, okay? It'll make my husband feel bad.
[Gently lays a hand on his arm and gives him a doe eyed look, a soft look, like she actually gives a fuck.]
no subject
Her supposed compassion is heartening, and despite the fact that he's planning to punk Madam Mystery hardcore, he does smile and lean in for, yes, a cheek kiss (Lupin's going to have to quarantine this bodysuit). ]
I'd love to make your husband feel bad, but not with my crocodile tears.
[ Baroqueheat actually kind of does want to bully this strange mafia husband, but that's order number two on his list. He pulls back, scoops up a piece of "her" hand in one index finger. ]
It hurts me to leave you, but my necklace beckons!
no subject
Lupin's entire body goes rigid, smile frozen on his face, when those disgusting probably STD ridden lips touch the suit. He can almost feel the goddamn spit and the impression of his lips right through the body suit and suddenly, as time stops and he has a moment to think about it and be self aware, he catches a glimpse of his soul retreating into the stratosphere.
She just laughs good naturedly.]
He's a bit of a softie, so if you cry and wet yourself a little, I'm sure you'll be just fine.
[She waves him off with her free hand, eyes sparkling like his soul hasn't left him]
Oh, that pain will fade for more, later. But you should go find your princess before she comes to rescue you, my little pet.
no subject
And if that weren't enough, Baroqueheat takes the waved hand and smooches that, too, just so 'she' can have more of a reason to test 'her' collection of flamethrowers later. ]
I'll find her once I have what I came here for! ♥
[ And with a wink (ugh), he trots off— where to? The men's room, of course, where he's hidden his stash of thieving goods in one of the stalls, how... original. If he's going to go full Mission Impossible on this shit, he's going to go the whole nine yards, okay.
He's still not looking forward to crawling through vents, but he will. ]
no subject
Disgusting, sick sick sick. He doesn't want to think about how many STDs are currently on his goddamn hand, waiting to strike and ruin his life, so it's best to just scald his hand, right? Right. That's a good idea. Maybe Fujiko will let him touch her tit until he feels better.
Where is the master thief's stash, by the way? In one of the Master Bedrooms, of course. It's the best way to catch flies, after all.
Seriously bathroom stalls? Been there, done that, n00b.]
no subject
Speaking of taking, though: while the party's going on, this shitty not!ninja changes out of his tux into his thieving gear, which is basically tight pants and a wifebeater, like a terrible visual-kei version of John McClane. Bruce Willis would be appalled. Equipped with rope, grappling hook, and a few other odds and ends that could have him be misconstrued as someone working at an S&M bar, he sets down the hall and into the room adjacent of the one holding all the items for tonight's auction. Maybe he can carve a hole through the wall... too obvious? Maybe the ceiling is a better choice.
So. Up into the ceiling he goes, via chairs stacked on top of chairs. (Thank god for circus experience.) ]
no subject
Lupin's preparations are more simplistic than an outfit change and ceiling rescues....for now, anyway. He does have to lure two security guards into the Master Bedroom and promise them to have their way with 'her'....
Of course the second either of them gets a facefull of those fake tits they're both subjected to a potent sleep gas, yes, right from the tits. It's convenient as hell. With Jigen out there on lookout, it takes very little time at all for him to find the secret switch...........
But no password!! So guess who has very little time and one slinky dress to crawl all up into the ceiling in? This guy!!
He's so shitty. So, so shitty.]
no subject
Said dirty asshole is grumbling under his breath at how shitty and dusty the ceiling is, how people don't crawl through these spaces for a reason, when he sees the familiar outline of something that seems unmistakably like an ass in front of him.
Huh.
Said ass is clothed in a dress that is unmistakably the dress of that pretty mafia madam that he was talking to earlier.
Double huh.
So this is what she was talking about when she was talking about dodgeball and being better at it than him. What a kinky woman, cat burgling with a little leather play on the side.
Grinning from ear to ear, Baroqueheat crawls towards her and
spanks a palm against that ass, holy shit he's going to get murdered later. ]
Coming through! ♥
no subject
Lupin's just thanking his lucky stars he hasn't seen any mice yet-- not that he's afraid of them. They're just inconveniences. Cute, but bite through things and are just generally a nuisance.
So it's double his unluck that one particular rat swats a hand against his ass, which wrenches the loudest shriek from Lupin's mouth to date.
(That's definitely not Jigen--)
Turning to glower over his shoulder at that damn voice, he snarls:]
Just what the hell do you think you're doing?!
[He's going to have the pleasure of becoming ground beef once Lupin finds a fan to push him through~~]
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And.. whoa, okay, he's definitely caught her at the wrong time. In a bad mood because her brand-name dress is getting dirty...? Hm.
He reaches out and rubs that ass because it must be aching, sorry. (Sorry for being alive, more like.) ]
A little friendly competition...?
[ Ohhh god ]
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A strange sound echoes throughout their enclosed little paradise of two. It's a grinding sound. Like something...hard? Something like teeth? Ah, yes, it's Lupin trying not to shatter his own teeth with the rage powered through his clenched jaws.
It takes a moment, but 'she' lets out a giggle.]
Oh dear, it looks like you caught up to me~ I'm almost proud. Why don't we...
[Reaching back, she touches his hand and bends it backwards painfully]
Get a little more friendly, hmm~?
[At this rate Lupin is never going to come out of the bath. It's almost as bad as that one time Zenigata dressed in drag for that festival and Lupin's face made contact with his ass. It was perky.]
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