c17h19no3 | [ private movie screenings. ]

Entry tags:

jigen,
lupin

[ private movie screenings. ]

[ When working with Arsène Lupin the Third, the one thing to always remember is that the man is, in a word, unpredictable. It's a running constant, the one common thread that weaves all of his actions together to form their ever-expanding, staggeringly elaborate tapestry of adventures. Unshakable, unbreakable, unstoppable: that's Lupin, and Jigen honestly has no idea what he'd been expecting when his partner'd walked up to him that morning, swaying lightly on the balls of his feet to an invisible tune, hands in his pockets like he'd just pilfered something of Jigen's that Jigen would be exceedingly angry about later.

In reality, though, what'd come out of Lupin's mouth was a simple, disarming:

"Wanna go see a movie?"

Delivered with all the coyness of a boy asking someone out on a first date, complete with exaggerated fidgeting and an "aw-shucks" pout that'd distinctly rubbed Jigen the wrong way.

"No", he'd replied with finality, and he'd thought that that would be that...

...but here he is now, bag of freshly-made caramel corn tucked under one arm, peering into a cozy home theater that would comfortably seat a crowd of thirty.

He feels like he's been conned into this.

He probably has.

But being the painstakingly conscientious man that he is, disgustingly true to his word once he's given it, Jigen settles into one of the surprisingly plush chairs in the middle of the room and throws his feet up, resting the heel of his new shoes onto the back of the seat in front of him. If he's doing this, he's in it for the long haul. ]

What did you say we were watching, Lupin?

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[Lupin is all about that comfortable space; he's plucked up the arm rest separating them him, so get ready for all the elbows and shoulders and the line of him up close and center, Jigen!

He seems to be having some trouble slotting the cup in its holder in the opposite arm, his back turned to Jigen and curses littering the air around him. There's the slosh of his drink, exaggerated arm motions and finally AHA!

Lupin reels back 'round, eyes bright and twinkling as he gets comfortable with his own bag of popcorn. (it's already been sampled quite a bit, enough to where the level has noticeably diminished from the oily top) He's way too giddy; it's written there in the corners of his mouth and the raise of his shoulders, in the hand that raps fingertips over his own knee.]

It's Charlie's Angels. You got out of it last time but you won't escape now, buddy. I've got you right where I want you~

[ It's not as if they haven't done this sort of thing before— Jigen's not naive, he knows what that upraised armrest means— but he still sighs and tilts his head in the opposite direction.

He's halfway through the motion of tossing a piece of popcorn into his mouth when Lupin makes the great reveal about his choice, which prompts him to miss and get caramel on his nose. ]

—You've gotta be kidding me. How many times have I told you that I don't want to watch your harem fantasy movies?

[ Doesn't Lupin get enough of catsuits and ass-kicking from Fujiko?? Jigen whirls on his partner, pointing an accusatory finger as the lights dim and leaves him very little time to actually make a case for himself. ]

Lupin!

Shhhhhh! The movie's starting!

[Lupin presses an index finger to his lips and shushes his partner exaggeratedly, and try as he might to frown in a convincing manner, the shit eating grin threatening to crack his jaw (much like Jigen's probably about to) doesn't help much. He lets his arm brush against Jigen's side, attention mostly focused on the big screen, where the light flickers across his face, lighting up his already childish glee.]

It's a classic, Jigen. It's time to educate you, my friend. You had to get it over with some time. It was either this or Mean Girls.

[That said, he gathers a hefty handful of popcorn and jams it all into his mouth in one go. Of course he manages to lose a few along the way but its alright, it'll all go to a special place]

[ He can't believe this— except for the part where he can, where he can totally believe it and totally knows why this is happening. This isn't the first time Lupin's had him sit through something ridiculous and it likely won't be the last time, so beyond the usual grumbling and the sharp kick he sends with polished shoes to Lupin's shin, he stays quiet on the matter.

Cameron Diaz, god. The scene rolls in where she's dancing in her underwear, and there's an audible groan over the sound of the background music. ]

Where's Goemon when you need him.

[ Need him in more ways than one, not only to slash the hell out of this projector screen but possibly give Lupin a balls-wilting stare from across the room. If only he could enjoy Lupin's company in peace; Jigen's too tsundere for this, he knows that Lupin makes excuses for him but he also gives Jigen so much to complain about.

He tips his hat a little further down his face, but funnily enough... actually starts watching. ]

[Jigen's reward with a high pitched whine and a half hearted elbow in the ribs, but Lupin's eyes never leave the screen. He's captured, enchanted, by the booty wiggles. How can he not be? Jesus H. The only reason there isn't any drool is because he's stuffing his face, but rest assured, his eyes have that regular ol' funky glow to accompany the special effects. (The special effects which aren't boob jiggles, mind you)]

Holed up in a better hiding spot than you. You lucked out again, man. Lucky you~! You'll get to see Lucy Liu in leather and slapping a baton around.

[The very thought of it has him kicking his heels together.
Yes, lucky Jigen. Lucky indeed.]

[ He kindly refrains from commenting about the fact that he's going to become desensitized to the ol' tits and ass soon, especially since he has to put up with real gravity-defying jigglage in the form of Fujiko Mine. It's not that he doesn't appreciate them— he does, as much as any normal guy would— he's just less inclined to make it the priority. Call him old-fashioned, whatever.

The trio on-screen do another outfit change, and Jigen sips his ginger ale, wishing it were scotch. ]

I'll be lucky if these three ever do more than wiggle around.

[ Oh, ye of little faith. But contrary to his dry contempt, he is watching, ankles piled on top of each other, legs pulled to the side so he can see what's going on without his shoes getting in the way. ]

[That's all well and good, keeping mum about Fujiko's jiggles-- Lupin has a lot of Feelings about those, and a jealous monkey will make for an even more annoying time.

Lupin opens his mouth, chewed popcorn miraculously doesn't fall out, to bitch on account of Lupin's bitching, and that's when the real ass kicking begins. All those long legs for miles, kicking miles, kicking faces that leave grown, cocky men reeling. Lupin's heart is reeling, his gaze whips back to the screen and he crows--]

Atta girl! You can kick my ass any day, wheeeew.

[He levels a haughty glance Jigens way and says--] See? What now, mister Plot Thickening? [crams a triumphant handful of popcorn in his maw, chased down by a swig of good ol' coke]

[ A quick "yeah, yeah", to indicate that he does, in fact, appreciate the fact that Lucy Liu can kick so high while wearing leather. It's not a practical fabric to run around in, let alone kick ass in; kudos to you, angels, kudos to you.

The sad part of this is that Jigen is largely watching for the plot— or looking for bits and pieces of it where he can, over the noise of Lupin's hooting— and even manages a laugh when the Thin Man appears to be profoundly creepy to the lovely Miss Barrymore. ]

That guy... [ he says, pointing to the screen and whispering to his partner, as if there are other people he can disturb with this snippet of conversation ] ...looks like someone I know from my hitman days.

[ Also known as seedy guy #3863049853 who will inevitably show up sometime in the future to challenge Jigen to a much-unneeded duel. ]

[The leather doesn't leave much to the imagination, that's for sure. His heart is equally pitter-patter over each tight crease of a pencil skirt, or the teasing top three buttons of a stark white blouse opened, big eyes looking down a pair of glasses. Drew, baby, eat his heart out.

That monkey face automatically turns to Jigen to catch the amusement in his eyes, the hushed whisper of his breath fanned across his cheeks, now sweet. His head dips so his mouth is scant inches away from one angular cheek, his gaze on Jigen's eyes while his own voice is a stage whisper (oooh, just the two of us)]

Which someone? There are so many, I don't know how you keep track of 'em. Is it by appointment only? If he's like this guy, you've got nothing to worry about. So lame, so lame~!

[ There are way too many pigtails in this movie for Jigen to be remotely turned on, but he'll take it. He can only imagine how Goemon survived this ordeal; presumably with his eyes closed.

If Jigen's body language was all about "this is so much bullshit and I hate you" just a half an hour ago, due credit can be given to the power of movie magic for loosening that iron-forged personal bubble. His usual allowances for invasion are made in units of inches— feet, when he's feeling particularly hostile— but that's shrunk to centimeters and millimeters, the brim of his borsalino folded against Lupin's hair, turned up and providing shade for the both of them. ]

Josh...Nash? Something "-sh". [ clearly, this guy made an impression. One brow shoots up when Lupin insinuates that the minor villain on-screen is, in fact, minor, and he puts a hand up to his lips in that universal motion of "be quiet". ] —Hey, watch it. Don't spoil the damn movie.

[The school girl look doesn't do it for him? But it'd be fun to tug on...well he just doesn't know a good thing when he sees it in the media, surely if he saw it for real he'd understand.

(the bass drops low, the camera pans to Lupin the 3rd, thief extraordinaire, where he sits up on a desk, school girl skirt riding low on hairy thighs. He twirls one pigtail around an index finger, and yes he's popping gum. "Gonna confiscate this, teach~?" Is that cleavage regulation??)

He tips the rapidly emptying bag of popcorn against his mouth, lets the dwindeling remains sweep into that big gross maw, smacks them lips way too loudly in this tiny theater]

Something sh. [deadpan] Shhharp. [snorts] If you had seen this with me and Goemon you'd know by now that Charlie--

[ Jigen Daisuke: can only score with infants, or women metaphorically or literally in coffins.

(in this scenario, jigen daisuke is playing the role of the surly substitute teacher who, upon seeing lupin the third in thigh-highs and pigtails, reaches for his cellphone and immediately calls campus security, also known as goemon ishikawa the thirteenth.

and then starts laughing his ass off. sexy.)

"Sharp" is as good a guess as any, but urgency dictates that Jigen clamp a hand over Lupin's bigass mouth to shut him up about Charlie or Alex or who's hooking up with who later. This rudeness??? ]

Oi, quit it. [ He hisses, so he doesn't miss this riveting speech that Cameron Diaz is making. ] Pipe down, I can't hear.

[Look they've already had the talk about dead hookers, man, that has no place in this goddamn series--

(Cue Lupin scowling hard, kicking a heel against the desk and demanding what the hell's so funny! He's not gonna be laughing when he does this-- which is wrap one long leg around Jigen's hip and pull him closer. So sexy this substitute will just tell the security guard to be with buddha, a false alarm--

is what this naughty school girl assumes. When Jigen stops choking on his laughter.)

Naturally Lupin must do as social etiquette demands of him-- he makes a noise of protest in the back of his throat, then drags the flat of his tongue over Jigen's palm. Mmm, sweet. Rough on his tastebuds.]

[ (clearly that scenario ends with a repetition of that scene from Princess of the Breeze, with a bashful goemon retreating with entirely the wrong idea.

or the right idea.

either way, goemon is destined to lead a life where he has to endure these moments, one badly timed visit at a time.)

There's something on-screen about solidarity in the name of friendship, or something to the effect of not letting whoever whoever get in the way of whatever whatever, but Jigen's attention is wrenched back to himself and that tongue, too warm and demanding too much attention.

The sound he makes is distinctly inelegant, a half-splutter, half-choke as he banks sharply away from Lupin and collides with the armrest opposite of him. ]

Christ— what are you, five? Can't you sit still and watch your own goddamn movie?!

[(What the fuck did Goemon do in his former incarnation to deserve this? Can a person's karma really be that low? Next time he should shoot for being reincarnated as a butterfly. It's way more dignified.)

He'd be eating up the speech and the glow in his girls, girls, girls after his own heart-- Jigen's reaction has him grinning a grin so wide it nearly splits his face, he closes the distance between them so subtly, with just the toe of one shoe plunking into Jigen's, shoulders aligned towards him. He smacks his lips, laughs:]

I wouldn't know what to do with a babysitter like you in that case. I've seen it so many times already, I could quote it to you! Don't you know the atmosphere's perfect in here?

Then why the hell did you choose this one—

[ He manages between grunts, craning his neck back, back, back to hit the side of the empty chair next to him. It's a good thing that this place is just for the two of them... or is it.

Drew Barrymore shoots the both of them a judgmental look, which is coincidental but makes Jigen feel like he's being watched. Don't do this, Drew. ]

You said, "want to go see a movie?". I'm seeing the damn movie!

I said don't you wanna see a private screening? No one'll be on their phones, it's perfect, no interruptions.

[Jigen's acting like there's a damn snake in the grass beside him or something (he's not too far off, there). Lupin's just innocently sitting there, knee pressed against Jigen's, trynna watch this movie. Too bad his gaze is anything but innocent-- a shark's toothy grin coupled with a tiger's sharp gaze, matter of fact. He innocently reaches over for Jigen's popcorn, plunges his hand right in, straight to the bottom, where nimble fingers squeeze through paper, are burnt a little by caramel and junk--

only to reach the promised land: the outline of Jigen's junk through his pants. Nice.]

Perfect to fool around in!

Damn it, Lupi—

[ His voice hitches halfway through the second syllable, hand on his crotch cutting off his breathing for the precious second it would have taken to finish his brief sentence. Venom creeps into his glare, obscured slightly by the skewed slant of his hat, and a hand rifles through the rumpled mess of his popcorn bag to grab onto his partner's wrist. ]

I'm not foolin' around with that— [ he motions towards Lucy Liu, doing something undercover, herself barely covered. ] —playing in the background.

[Even through the circle of fingers around his wrist, trying to parry his sword's stroke ~~oh god~~, a giggle tumbles from lips stretched wide with promise. Those nimble fingers wiggle between the scant inches Jigen's obscured him from his target, teasingly, warning.]

What's wrong with that?! It's perfect atmosphere, what do you want, the creaking of some grandma's rocking chair or something? [snorts] I know Cameron's at least gotta get you kinda hot...you feel a little hot.

[ En garde... Jigen has no idea how Lupin can even think of getting it up in this situation, but then again, Jigen is the kind of guy that expects "dames" to walk into offices in fur coats and to smell like trouble. Maybe he's not the best judge of atmosphere.

The bag of popcorn is bumped from his knee in an attempt to dislodge Lupin's hand from it, which ends in popcorn getting spilled all over the place, on his pants, on the seat, on the floor. Cleanup on aisle... whatever. ]

Idiot, I like brunettes. [ He says, as if this is a perfect deterrent. Sorry Cameron, no offense...you're still a grade-A cutie. The scales in this tug-of-war aren't tipping in his favor, though, so Jigen moves in instead of pulling back, trying to get the fly with honey and not vinegar. ] Just let me watch the goddamn thing, isn't that what you wanted.

[ Appealing to Lupin's love for victory?? This is such a shoddy plan, but Jigen's not exactly the plans guy. ]

[A gust of wind could blow twelve miles over China and Lupin would pop a boner, that's just how this goes.

Lupin has enough time to let his own empty bag drop to the sticky depths of the floor, more arm room so he can skim up Jigen's opposite knee with a free hand-- just to funnel a few scoops of popcorn off, of course. His partner's cooperation makes his pulse spike, a pleased heat flushes over his face as he leans in, too, so close he could brush his chin against the very end of his beard.]

Lucky you, you've got a raven haired beauty, ready and willing. Take me, Jigen-sama~ [bats his eyelashes] What I wanted? Jigen, I wanted you. [matter of fact, despite the twinkle in his eyes]

Edited 2015-02-06 05:05 (UTC)

[ Well. That plan was a spectacular failure: not only is Lupin's face right there, he has to contend with the directness of those words, shot straight at him in a clear trajectory. Clearly, Jigen's not the only one with expert aim here.

A hand comes up to deflect, trusty boralino serving as a defense between his windows to his soul and Lupin's. They're close enough that the back of his hand brushes Lupin's jaw during the motion, which is also another unintended effect. ]

What's a guy gotta do to watch his damn movie in peace?

[ He says, but he's just embarrassed, stupid tryhard. Lupin and his damn lines... Jigen gives him shit constantly about how bad they are, and yet, here he is. He's a sucker. ]

[He makes an equally pleased little sound in the back of his throat as worn knuckles brush his jawline, and even though Jigen's trying to effectively use Withdraw! into his hat, he can tell it's working.

He runs his palms up and down Jigen's knees, up and down and up and up, squeezes his thighs. When he speaks his voice has taken on that husky purr]

I think it's far too late for that, don't you? We could always rent it if you're that worried about Lucy Liu.

[ Clever hands, clever fingers. Jigen's not a particularly difficult safe to crack, and there's not exactly space enough to move away unless he actually gets up to excuse himself.

He has no idea why he's not getting up to excuse himself.

Instead, he grumbles lightly under his breath ("stupid jackass, you probably have three copies of the damn DVD under your pillow") and reaches up to remove his hat and hook it on the chair behind him, freeing his hair and face and teeth, the very latter exposed to bite with annoyed affection at Lupin's jaw. Bad dog, no teething. ]

How long is this damn thing, anyway.

[ He still wants to know what happens to Drew! ]

[Don't tell anyone, but this is one of Lupin's favorite types of safes to crack; hard at first, there's a stone wall and fucking chainmail and there's a timer set to explode in fiery retribution if he should twist too much to the left]

Long enough to have you-- [he breathes, chin tipped forward, further into Jigen's mouth, the beard whispering against his skin. He smooths those lightning quick hands up until he's got Jigen's zipper undone, he traces the pads of two fingers over the hot little (well, never little) beginning of interest in Jigen's underwear. Star print today? Those are definitely Lupin's. The thought makes his smile all the more toothy.]

But I'm a gentleman, we all know that. So I won't be cruel...

[the opposite hand unfastens one, two, three buttons starting from the bottom of Jigen's dress shirt, delves beneath the fabric to slide his palm over shifting muscles and scars he knows so well]

This DJ is open to requests to make you sing.

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please be with me, Jesus

god has forsaken you, my child..............

if i'm going down i'm dragging you with me

i'm already in hell...what more could u want...

we have to go to the deepest pit in hell thats what

this is the thread for it, god!!!

i'm just saying =u=

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