That's the pettiest damn battle I've ever heard of.
[ This insult?! Jigen obviously needs to get a better set of priorities. He thinks to himself that he's the one that should be upset here, especially since Rahzel is adding another name to this growing pile of aliases he'll never use.
Cue a long sigh. Woofram... he'll never escape.
that's jigen's furry name ]
Where do you even come up with this sort of thing. Television?
But you've never heard it until now, have you? That's what uninformed masses do to you....you're desensitized to all these movies so much you can't even appreciate a valiant battle for the lives of your people.
[She's tsking, she's tsking so, so much. There's even a finger wag under his nose, there.
His names are already added to the book. It's too late to run now.]
As if television could satisfy this ever churning, hungry mind. I'm an independent thinker, thank you very much.
I don't remember being responsible an entire group of people. You might be projecting.
[ This callousness... he doesn't even like Kool-Aid, but if he mentions that he has a feeling he'll really be letting her down. The king abdicating his throne so quickly, it's unheard of.
He almost suggests that he give her a few names in retaliation, but anything he comes up with will come frustratingly short. So, instead: ]
—Forget about me, then, Miss Independent Thinker. What do you think this guy...
[ He fumbles inside his suit pocket for his phone, fiddles with it for a few seconds to pull up a picture of Goemon. ]
You probably just hit your head and forgot your former life. It happens all the time, apparently. You probably still have the Kool-aid man birthmark on you, though.
[Speaks with the wisdom of a young girl too invested in her story to back down now. He's going to believe it or choke on it, god dammit.
Humming with a curiosity that is dangerous, Rahzel leans in to take a gander at whatever it is he's trying to show her. She perks up. Takes a minute to ponder.]
[ Lupin probably made something that looks like a Kool-aid man mark somewhere on Jigen's body at some point. At the very least, it was probably red enough. A point in Rahzel's favor.
Jigen waits very patiently for this deliberation, and then promptly starts cracking up. ]
Hijikata Tray Montana? That's damn near perfect!
[ Should he rename Goemon in his phone to this??? This is too much, he's doubling over. ]
[So on the ass, basically. Well, Rahzel's too ladylike to presume it's location. (no she isn't)
His laughter prompts a grin of her own, bright, 100 watts and no dimming in sight. So he really did like the name, he was just shy and didn't want his friend to be without one either! The young maiden thinks to herself. That's almost cute.
Her chest puffs up]
Not damn near: it is perfect. A number one unique Rahzel-sama name is a title you must carry on, y'know. The sword...how about Silver Imperil Earth Splitter Donaldson-san?
[her brows furrow a little]
Is that your husband...? He doesn't seem your type...
[ Fuck, he almost wants to hand Rahzel the napkin he's reaching for so she can write all of this down. Maybe Goemon will buy it if he says that a princess gave him this name and he needs to be respectful. As much as he loves his son, he can't help but want to tease him every now and then. ]
Donaldson? Donaldson?
[ This is too much, this is too perfect. He's still laughing, palm against his stomach and getting some Looks from some of the other guests, up and until the point Rahzel uses the word "husband".
[She's flushed with pride and pleasure, the apples of her cheeks red with it, and she squirms happily, nodding.
Oh yes, good! Him laughing, now that's a great sound. That's much better than the tense jungle cat-- or...jungle...wolf? He was the moment she laid eyes on him. Maybe the party won't be such a bust for him after all.
But when she notices the silence she, too, stops giggling under her breath, befuddled. Oh maybe he's allergic to the H word?]
Yeah! Your boyfriend-shaped person, your guy, whatever. Is that him? I figured it'd be someone a little less....traditional. Not that I'm questioning your taste but...
[ Just how many things will Jigen be forced into denying tonight... he can practically feel the frost emanating from Goemon, miles away and sitting under a tree, probably. Rahzel is playing this sucker like a flute. A guitar? A broken-down Camaro.
Snapping his phone shut, Jigen heaves the longest sigh of the night. ]
No, he's... [ a work buddy, how do you even explain the fact that you work with a real life samurai? ] ...an old friend.
[ fuck, that tickles to say. He scratches his chin. ]
Not the party type, you won't find him here. [ Meaning, he's not the asshole he came here with. ]
[Probably everything but the kitchen sink, as the saying goes. This sad Camaro should have more pride! At least according to Rahzel.
The girl leans in on his arm, lips pursed.]
An old friend? And he's not here partying it up with you guys? What the hell, I wanted to see his face when he heard his new title! I demand you text him right now and tell him he's grounded.
[One hand goes to her little hip, and her eyes narrow.]
Also, how did you guys meet? And where's your guy?
[ Don't get him started on mushy subjects, Rahzel, it'll just get embarrassing so fast.
Jigen stalls for time in the moment Rahzel takes to put those dainty hands on her hips, tries to buy himself seconds as he reaches for a cheese puff, chews on it with an exaggerated sense of purpose.
"I met the guy when he was totally trying to kill my friend, they both gave each other pretty bad burns after that fight, it was a fucking hassle", is the real answer to the question.
What he actually says is: ] We met when we were both trying to take care of some business.
[ uh huh, sure jigen. ]
And the guy I came here with is... [ "Dressed like a chick", fuck. ] ...Probably in the bathroom or something.
[That no-nonsense expression doesn't change. If anything, it grows stonier. Little lips pursed into a frown, now. She will not accept your attempts to get out of this, mister.
Tiny fingers reach over for a handful of her own cheesepuffs and after popping two into her mouth, she brandishes one, waves it in his face meaningfully.]
Taking care of business, huh. I know you guys didn't meet in the bathroom. So have at it. Was it somewhere embarrassing? If it's an adult place, I won't judge you that much.
[OKAY GOOD SOME DIRT ON HIS GUY!!!
this dirt is too clean. Shoulders slump]
I don't want to know where he is yet, I wanna know what all he's like!
[ She's a tough customer. In a way, he feels like a standup comedian who keeps getting prompted to tell a funnier joke.
He could walk away. Why doesn't he, is the million dollar question, and the answer— at least for the moment— is because he's being threatened into submission by a cheese puff.
Excuse him as he tries to, you know... be mild about this. ]
It was in Japan, me and my partner were looking for something, he was there.
[ Don't quit your day job, Jigen. He's a terrible storyteller, all awkwardness and no finesse. ]
And he's... good at his job. Stupid, but trustworthy.
[She's not quite to the booing stage but it's getting there.
Nope, still frowning, still not satisfied. It's lightened up just a tad; the more he talks the more she'll give in. Possibly.]
More contracts or something? It must have been weird to go from rivals to friends...I guess you two really have a great repertoire, huh? To get him to trust you. Good faces for that, good hearts.
[There's a bit of a smile lifting her mouth.]
Good at contracting. At least he won't blow everything at the casino and leave you with three mouths to feed! Trustworthy. I'm glad you have someone to trust.
[also:] Are you texting your friend about my disappointment? I wasn't joking.
[ Exasperation is the name of the game; for one, he hadn't expected on a feelingsjam so early on in the night. And without a spot of alcohol in him— whatever bit of bourbon he'd been running on, it's already left. His suit bunches in the back from where it rides up slightly against the wall, shifting to make up for his slouch. ]
I never know what he's thinking. Goe— [ no no, that's not his name ] —Hijikata Tray's a difficult nut to crack.
[ no one will ever crack Goemon's nuts, it's true. ]
...If you run into a monkey-faced guy tonight, don't tell him I told you that.
[ Just. You know. He's taking out his cell phone, though, just because he thinks Goemon needs something to suffer through tonight, too. He types "By the way, you're grounded", and shows the text to Rahzel. ]
[He'd better believe Rahzel will give him a very disapproving tut if he drinks too much. You're supposed to act a little more cultured in front of a lady. Getting drunk will not help your smoozy heart now, man.
She crosses one ankle and leans back against the wall, too, dress folding beneath her.]
I'm sure you guys don't need too many words. He knows and you guys know. And that's what matters...though those nice words can't hurt every once in awhile. But not when you're about to die, got it? [she says that pretty sternly, actually, brow furrowed]
Monkey faced...? That's your guy? [a giggle] He's your monkey, that's pretty cute. And you're his grumpy bear. That's way sweet!
[Leans over so they're shoulder to shoulder, beaming]
[ He'd be such a charming drunk that she'd have no choice but to approve!! Think of all the beard-rubs she could be getting on her cheek.
A light mm, and Jigen glances down at her; trying to figure her out. He's being given advice that comes from a place that's too astute, and he wonders for a moment if she knows.
After a moment, he waves that thought aside. ]
You're talking like I have one foot in my grave. I'm not that old.
[ Here's a pat on her head, for her concern. ]
And yeah, he's a flighty monkey, but somehow he knows how to make his way back. A damn miracle, if you ask me.
[ He refuses to say something nice about Lupin, he refuses!!!! Even if his dokis are there, they're so there. ]
[Oh...damn, that's kind of tempting. Blackmailing the shit out of- er, being so friendly and cute, that's hard to resist.
Her mouth slants downward at his comment, she blinks hard at the pat, forges on:]
I don't mean old age, I mean other stuff! Dangerous and crazy things, the three of you guys. You might get in over your head. [She knows about these things...trios are one thing but a quartet....though she doesn't know of that crucial detail]
A loyal pet. I'm really glad, then. I don't have to worry much. That should speak a lot for the direction that matters most to him.
[nice try, this girl is on the hunt for dokis and she sniffs em out]
What makes you so sure about us being involved in dangerous things... minus the samurai, I know the stereotype.
[ He's so ready to keep playing this charade?! This nerd. As if anyone who wears a hat indoors could be anything but shady.
Reaching for a piece of roast beef, he chews on it as he thinks about how best to carry this conversation without having to reveal too much about how he feels about Lupin. Lupin didn't hire this girl to get some good juicy deets on Jigen's mushy interior, right... he'd kill him if that were the case. ]
—Not a pet. [ if anything, the world would say that Jigen's the pet of the two, but that thought makes him grimace. ] He doesn't need anyone worryin' about him, but I'm a sucker for looking out for him anyway.
[The expression he receives from her is the epitome of no-nonsense. It doesn't budge. Hands find hips once more so she can narrow baby blues at him. She knows these things....she sees them in the people she loves every day.]
The look of you. You may not go looking for trouble but when it finds you, you run towards it instead of going the other way. You charge to meet it. And that's dangerous...because you don't care in that moment, maybe.
[She's truly concerned about this, by the pinch of her brows and the downturn of her mouth. Distracted.]
He appreciates it. [with certainly] Your man, then. And it's good to have someone have your back.
[ His heart skips a beat underneath all that calm, thuds under a heavy layer of suits and ties. Not because he thinks she knows, but because he's always amazed when someone manages to cut so close.
His lips turn down, a half-frown, partly resigned. His hand goes back on her head, because it's empty without a drink or a cigarette. ]
Is that right. But you said so yourself. I have a long lifeline.
[ Lifting his palm from her hair to brandish it, to make a point: don't worry about strange men who live dangerous lives. Listen, he's seen far too many women get burned on this front.
And, after a beat: ] Alright, I'll bite. You wanna know the one thing I really hate about him. [ The monkey, he means. ]
[Rahzel certainly sees something in his face the moments before he pats her hair and she's preoccupied with bobbing her head to duck some of the careless mussing. Hmph, men. Her throat is caught up in but, but buts when she looks up again, imploring--]
You do, but you could still get really hurt! Risks are really fun, especially when the payoff is amazing, but the pain might not be worth it...or something my dad always said.
[She's definitely pouting and petulant, even sulks a little when she says:]
No. [then] Yes, I lied. I want to know very, very much, more than another piece of cake.
[ It's a little sweet, all of this. It's not often that he finds someone willing to be so frank about his safety, or their concern for it. Talking about dying or being hurt is like talking about the fine print of a contract: they all know it's there, but it never warrants discussion.
He meets those buts with a quiet tip of his head, dark eyes just barely visible from where his Borsalino's been tilted up and away. ]
There are things that hurt more than scars, little lady.
[ Like, say, not sticking to his principles, something happening to any of his shitty family members because he messed up, because he didn't show up. Really, that's as much of a love confession as any.
That sharp gaze softens, though, at her comparison between curiosity and cake. ]
Alright, I'll tell you.
—He keeps things from me and thinks I don't notice. How annoying is that, huh.
[Rahzel peers into those dark, dark knowing eyes and feels her chest tighten with even more worry, thanks to his words. She knows he has to know of this. Of course. But it irks her, a little, that he thinks she doesn't. Hands falling to her sides, fingers clench into little fists.]
I know that. Like being left behind because they think it'll protect you, like losing someone or losing parts of yourself along the way-- sometimes physical pain is much easier to tuck away.
[Her lips twist. She relents. She hates it too...but she also feels a kinship with this particular shitty trait]
Are you more mad that he keeps them or that he underestimates you? It'd be stupid to say 'he's just trying to protect you' because that only makes him look good. It doesn't mean anything to how you feel about it.
[ He wonders what she's got tucked away in that small frame of hers, in that upturned chin and those too-bright eyes. It's a disservice for him to remain so relaxed, but his posture remains on the side of casual, hands tucked haphazardly into loosened pockets. ]
Wounds heal, debts don't. I've never liked baggage.
[ That borders on a lie, but it's not exactly; what does this guy consider baggage, anyway?
He sees that conflict in her face, though, and breathes a hint of a laugh. ]
The second one. He knows I don't need his damn protection.
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[ This insult?! Jigen obviously needs to get a better set of priorities. He thinks to himself that he's the one that should be upset here, especially since Rahzel is adding another name to this growing pile of aliases he'll never use.
Cue a long sigh. Woofram... he'll never escape.
that's jigen's furry name]Where do you even come up with this sort of thing. Television?
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[She's tsking, she's tsking so, so much. There's even a finger wag under his nose, there.
His names are already added to the book. It's too late to run now.]
As if television could satisfy this ever churning, hungry mind. I'm an independent thinker, thank you very much.
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[ This callousness... he doesn't even like Kool-Aid, but if he mentions that he has a feeling he'll really be letting her down. The king abdicating his throne so quickly, it's unheard of.
He almost suggests that he give her a few names in retaliation, but anything he comes up with will come frustratingly short. So, instead: ]
—Forget about me, then, Miss Independent Thinker. What do you think this guy...
[ He fumbles inside his suit pocket for his phone, fiddles with it for a few seconds to pull up a picture of Goemon. ]
...Should be called?
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[Speaks with the wisdom of a young girl too invested in her story to back down now. He's going to believe it or choke on it, god dammit.
Humming with a curiosity that is dangerous, Rahzel leans in to take a gander at whatever it is he's trying to show her. She perks up. Takes a minute to ponder.]
Hijikata Tray Montana.
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Jigen waits very patiently for this deliberation, and then promptly starts cracking up. ]
Hijikata Tray Montana? That's damn near perfect!
[ Should he rename Goemon in his phone to this??? This is too much, he's doubling over. ]
Give his sword a name, too.
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His laughter prompts a grin of her own, bright, 100 watts and no dimming in sight. So he really did like the name, he was just shy and didn't want his friend to be without one either! The young maiden thinks to herself. That's almost cute.
Her chest puffs up]
Not damn near: it is perfect. A number one unique Rahzel-sama name is a title you must carry on, y'know. The sword...how about Silver Imperil Earth Splitter Donaldson-san?
[her brows furrow a little]
Is that your husband...? He doesn't seem your type...
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Donaldson? Donaldson?
[ This is too much, this is too perfect. He's still laughing, palm against his stomach and getting some Looks from some of the other guests, up and until the point Rahzel uses the word "husband".
And then he stops. Abruptly. ]
...What? Husband?
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Oh yes, good! Him laughing, now that's a great sound. That's much better than the tense jungle cat-- or...jungle...wolf? He was the moment she laid eyes on him. Maybe the party won't be such a bust for him after all.
But when she notices the silence she, too, stops giggling under her breath, befuddled. Oh maybe he's allergic to the H word?]
Yeah! Your boyfriend-shaped person, your guy, whatever. Is that him? I figured it'd be someone a little less....traditional. Not that I'm questioning your taste but...
[she's questioning your taste.]
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Snapping his phone shut, Jigen heaves the longest sigh of the night. ]
No, he's... [ a work buddy, how do you even explain the fact that you work with a real life samurai? ] ...an old friend.
[ fuck, that tickles to say. He scratches his chin. ]
Not the party type, you won't find him here. [ Meaning, he's not the asshole he came here with. ]
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The girl leans in on his arm, lips pursed.]
An old friend? And he's not here partying it up with you guys? What the hell, I wanted to see his face when he heard his new title! I demand you text him right now and tell him he's grounded.
[One hand goes to her little hip, and her eyes narrow.]
Also, how did you guys meet? And where's your guy?
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Jigen stalls for time in the moment Rahzel takes to put those dainty hands on her hips, tries to buy himself seconds as he reaches for a cheese puff, chews on it with an exaggerated sense of purpose.
"I met the guy when he was totally trying to kill my friend, they both gave each other pretty bad burns after that fight, it was a fucking hassle", is the real answer to the question.
What he actually says is: ] We met when we were both trying to take care of some business.
[ uh huh, sure jigen. ]
And the guy I came here with is... [ "Dressed like a chick", fuck. ] ...Probably in the bathroom or something.
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Tiny fingers reach over for a handful of her own cheesepuffs and after popping two into her mouth, she brandishes one, waves it in his face meaningfully.]
Taking care of business, huh. I know you guys didn't meet in the bathroom. So have at it. Was it somewhere embarrassing? If it's an adult place, I won't judge you that much.
[OKAY GOOD SOME DIRT ON HIS GUY!!!
this dirt is too clean. Shoulders slump]
I don't want to know where he is yet, I wanna know what all he's like!
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He could walk away. Why doesn't he, is the million dollar question, and the answer— at least for the moment— is because he's being threatened into submission by a cheese puff.
Excuse him as he tries to, you know... be mild about this. ]
It was in Japan, me and my partner were looking for something, he was there.
[ Don't quit your day job, Jigen. He's a terrible storyteller, all awkwardness and no finesse. ]
And he's... good at his job. Stupid, but trustworthy.
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Nope, still frowning, still not satisfied. It's lightened up just a tad; the more he talks the more she'll give in. Possibly.]
More contracts or something? It must have been weird to go from rivals to friends...I guess you two really have a great repertoire, huh? To get him to trust you. Good faces for that, good hearts.
[There's a bit of a smile lifting her mouth.]
Good at contracting. At least he won't blow everything at the casino and leave you with three mouths to feed! Trustworthy. I'm glad you have someone to trust.
[also:] Are you texting your friend about my disappointment? I wasn't joking.
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I never know what he's thinking. Goe— [ no no, that's not his name ] —Hijikata Tray's a difficult nut to crack.
[ no one will ever crack Goemon's nuts, it's true. ]
...If you run into a monkey-faced guy tonight, don't tell him I told you that.
[ Just. You know. He's taking out his cell phone, though, just because he thinks Goemon needs something to suffer through tonight, too. He types "By the way, you're grounded", and shows the text to Rahzel. ]
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She crosses one ankle and leans back against the wall, too, dress folding beneath her.]
I'm sure you guys don't need too many words. He knows and you guys know. And that's what matters...though those nice words can't hurt every once in awhile. But not when you're about to die, got it? [she says that pretty sternly, actually, brow furrowed]
Monkey faced...? That's your guy? [a giggle] He's your monkey, that's pretty cute. And you're his grumpy bear. That's way sweet!
[Leans over so they're shoulder to shoulder, beaming]
Excellent! I can't wait to read him the riot act.
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A light mm, and Jigen glances down at her; trying to figure her out. He's being given advice that comes from a place that's too astute, and he wonders for a moment if she knows.
After a moment, he waves that thought aside. ]
You're talking like I have one foot in my grave. I'm not that old.
[ Here's a pat on her head, for her concern. ]
And yeah, he's a flighty monkey, but somehow he knows how to make his way back. A damn miracle, if you ask me.
[ He refuses to say something nice about Lupin, he refuses!!!! Even if his dokis are there, they're so there. ]
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Her mouth slants downward at his comment, she blinks hard at the pat, forges on:]
I don't mean old age, I mean other stuff! Dangerous and crazy things, the three of you guys. You might get in over your head. [She knows about these things...trios are one thing but a quartet....though she doesn't know of that crucial detail]
A loyal pet. I'm really glad, then. I don't have to worry much. That should speak a lot for the direction that matters most to him.
[nice try, this girl is on the hunt for dokis and she sniffs em out]
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[ He's so ready to keep playing this charade?! This nerd. As if anyone who wears a hat indoors could be anything but shady.
Reaching for a piece of roast beef, he chews on it as he thinks about how best to carry this conversation without having to reveal too much about how he feels about Lupin. Lupin didn't hire this girl to get some good juicy deets on Jigen's mushy interior, right... he'd kill him if that were the case. ]
—Not a pet. [ if anything, the world would say that Jigen's the pet of the two, but that thought makes him grimace. ] He doesn't need anyone worryin' about him, but I'm a sucker for looking out for him anyway.
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The look of you. You may not go looking for trouble but when it finds you, you run towards it instead of going the other way. You charge to meet it. And that's dangerous...because you don't care in that moment, maybe.
[She's truly concerned about this, by the pinch of her brows and the downturn of her mouth. Distracted.]
He appreciates it. [with certainly] Your man, then. And it's good to have someone have your back.
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His lips turn down, a half-frown, partly resigned. His hand goes back on her head, because it's empty without a drink or a cigarette. ]
Is that right. But you said so yourself. I have a long lifeline.
[ Lifting his palm from her hair to brandish it, to make a point: don't worry about strange men who live dangerous lives. Listen, he's seen far too many women get burned on this front.
And, after a beat: ] Alright, I'll bite. You wanna know the one thing I really hate about him. [ The monkey, he means. ]
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You do, but you could still get really hurt! Risks are really fun, especially when the payoff is amazing, but the pain might not be worth it...or something my dad always said.
[She's definitely pouting and petulant, even sulks a little when she says:]
No. [then] Yes, I lied. I want to know very, very much, more than another piece of cake.
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He meets those buts with a quiet tip of his head, dark eyes just barely visible from where his Borsalino's been tilted up and away. ]
There are things that hurt more than scars, little lady.
[ Like, say, not sticking to his principles, something happening to any of his shitty family members because he messed up, because he didn't show up. Really, that's as much of a love confession as any.
That sharp gaze softens, though, at her comparison between curiosity and cake. ]
Alright, I'll tell you.
—He keeps things from me and thinks I don't notice. How annoying is that, huh.
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I know that. Like being left behind because they think it'll protect you, like losing someone or losing parts of yourself along the way-- sometimes physical pain is much easier to tuck away.
[Her lips twist. She relents. She hates it too...but she also feels a kinship with this particular shitty trait]
Are you more mad that he keeps them or that he underestimates you? It'd be stupid to say 'he's just trying to protect you' because that only makes him look good. It doesn't mean anything to how you feel about it.
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Wounds heal, debts don't. I've never liked baggage.
[ That borders on a lie, but it's not exactly; what does this guy consider baggage, anyway?
He sees that conflict in her face, though, and breathes a hint of a laugh. ]
The second one. He knows I don't need his damn protection.
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